Myshu FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold chupariffic

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from Orange, TX

  • Activity

    • Quote Log 7 (NeverSFW)

      7 years ago

      Myshu chupariffic

      Hmm, I'd like to make one of those intarweb videos, but I've never done such a thing in my life. For starters, can anyone recommend a good way to capture audio from a DVD?

      --- hb google
      Myshu: Huh, google turned 13
      Myshu: If it were Jewish it'd be considered a man
      Mozz: technically before being a man Google would have to study for and pass its Browsermitzvah
      Mozz: which it would have an unfair advantage in doing what with the built in translator

      --- no power 1
      themis56: oh HELL
      themis56: POWER OUTAGE
      themis56: running on battery
      themis56: Jeezus does this chat have a voodoo curse on it or what
      Mozz: aww
      themis56: oh wait back on now
      themis56: OH, I know what happened
      themis56: for some reason the power switch in my parents' room affects the light in this room as well; so when they turn off their overhead light then mine does too
      Mozz: how odd and inconvenient
      themis56: so for a few seconds I was plunged into darkness
      themis56: but then I noticed my clock was still running
      themis56: It's some weird circuitry thing that is new to me
      themis56: it started to happen when they got new lights for their room
      themis56: and I guess they thought it would be worth a giggle to be able to control MY OWN LIGHTING as well >:[
      Mozz: as long as you're under MY HOUSE
      Mozz: you'll live under MY lighting

      --- no power 2
      * Sancdar_ has joined
      * Sancdar has quit IRC (Ping timeout: 180 seconds)
      Sancdar_: hnnngh
      Sancdar_: my roommate's method of figuring what is plugged in where is to unplug things and check what no longer works
      Sancdar_: (the answer is the internet)

      --- hot pockets are that good, damnit
      Dogu: So, going back to the boob thing... I have an AWESOME "show me your boob story" that ends in me being totally humiliated.
      Sancdar: Dogu, were you talking to someone with an extensive collection of birds?
      Sancdar: or a very fat man?
      Jerm: Or both
      Dogu: it actually involves an actual girl. And actual boobs.
      Dogu: It was quite a few years ago. I was about nineteen.
      Dogu: And hanging out at the local mall.
      Dogu: This one chick comes up and starts talking to one of the friends I was hanging out with.
      Dogu: I can't remember how it came up in conversation, but she ended up saying "I don't care, I'd flash my boobs to anyone for $2."
      Dogu: Guess who had $2.
      Sancdar: it was her
      Schala: I'd ask for $50 grand
      Sancdar: schala: that's why nobody will ever pay to see your tits
      Schala: I have my reasons for wanting $50 grand
      Sancdar: uh
      Sancdar: i have good reasons for wanting $50 grand too
      Sancdar: but unless your tits can cure aids visually or something
      Sancdar: wait
      Sancdar: can they?
      DK: Are you saying you have AIDs?
      Sancdar: i'm saying it wouldn't be worth it unless there were benefits of that magnitude, you worm
      Dogu: So I pull the said amount out of my wallet and said "Well, how about it, then?"
      Dogu: She grabs my arm and PULLS me through the mall to the elevator going up to the second floor.
      Dogu: We get inside, push "2" and as soon as the door closes, her shirt is off, and she's standing there in her bra. The elevator hits the top floor. And WON't SHUT AGAIN!
      Dogu: it keeps closing 3/4 of the way, and opening again.
      Myshu: Elevator boobs, how transient
      maggiekarp: God tittyblocked you, Dog
      maggiekarp: it is a sign
      Sancdar: t dogu, does the story end with you going down
      Dogu: this goes on for about 45 seconds, with her huddled in the corner so no one sees her, and me trying to figure out how to close the door.
      Dogu: Finally, as it's closing, I use both hands, and force the doors to close.
      Dogu: As I turn away, I see a topless girl THROWING herself at me.
      Dogu: And for about the next three seconds, she's making out with me.
      maggiekarp: classy
      Myshu: $2 ho
      Dogu: I then have to help her redress before the door opens up again.
      Sancdar: back in the dorms i got to see tits for a hot pocket
      Mozz: why, those are only 1.29 each!
      Mozz: Sanc gettin a BARGAIN
      Myshu: fuck yeah I'd show my tits for a hot pocket
      Dogu: That being done, the door opens, and we go off to our respective friends.
      Dogu: Mine asks me what happened.
      Dogu: So I tell him and he says "Dude, you know how old she is?"
      Dogu: she was thirteen
      maggiekarp: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
      Myshu: whooooa
      maggiekarp: knew that was coming
      Sancdar: way to be a closet elevator pedo
      DK: this is now
      DK: the worst
      DK: story
      Sancdar: dude
      Sancdar: she wasn't even legal in japan
      Mozz: unless dogu had a tentacle handy, sanc
      Dogu: Didn't look a day under eighteen. I felt like such a dirty fucking pervert, I wanted to die.
      DK: lmao that's on your friend for not throwing himself in front of you
      DK: Essentially it was his duty to cockblock you at that point
      DK: But he didn't step up
      Dogu: I KNOW!
      Dogu: A "Hey, dude, JAILBAIT ALLERT!" would have been FUCKING FANTASTIC.

    • 7 years ago

      Myshu chupariffic
    • Quote Log 6 (NeverSFW)

      7 years ago

      Myshu chupariffic

      So, my sister likes to watch Survivor. While watching it with her last night I couldn't help notice that the tribe colors this season are red and blue, so when the red tribe won a challenge I sat up and shouted, "Suck it Blue!!"
      Fortunately she got the joke, so I wasn't a flailing idiot there.

      Sancdar: IN SOVIET RUSSIA
      Sancdar: AND GET MONO
      Mozz: whereas in MODERN CAPITALIST RUSSIA
      Mozz: (and then drop you out of window in "an unfortunate accident")

      --- tough shit
      maggiekarp: you ever shit so hard you passed out
      maggiekarp: you ever shit so hard you see God and he's just clapping slowly
      Seris: i wonder if its possible to take a really good shit and orgasm from it
      Seris: because it grinds up against the prostate just right
      DK: I had a friend in college who got drunk and swore to me that that had happened to him
      DK: "It was pretty scary"
      DK: yeah bro it was even scarier THE SECOND TIME
      Haruhi2: cumshits
      Seris: i have a hard time believing its possible because shit is so malluable
      Seris: i mean even the hardest shit has some give to it
      Myshu: I dunno, there are some tough shits, like rocks
      Seris: maybe its possible to induce orgasm from shitting if you like, prairie dog your shit
      maggiekarp: I think if you're worked up before hand the bit of friction could cause an orgasm
      Seris: man thatd be weird
      Seris: its like "oohh dear im going to cum but aaauugghh gotta take a dump"
      Seris: "brb"
      Seris: then all you hear out of the bathroom is the sound of a fucking boulder tumbling down a fleight of stairs and splashing into a rivine
      Seris: and then this monsterous moan of a beast waking from its sleep
      Myshu: Gads, the imagery
      maggiekarp: I was thinking more jerking off on the toilet maybe
      maggiekarp: experiments continue in science I'm sure
      Myshu: For science! ...Ugh.
      Myshu: Never has that saying felt so dirty

      --- Punch Out
      Seris: meanwhile yall should be playing a -real- mans game
      Seris: like punchout for the wii
      Seris: ps bald bull is still an enormous asshole
      Seris: aauughgh fuck great tiger
      Seris: it took me like 3 tries to win against that magician fuck
      DK: He's easy as shit once you realize how to block his punches
      Seris: meanwhile i was ko'ing every motherfucker flawlessly before than but then him and his big jewel encrusted toilet hat come barging in and screaming in arabic and little mac is just tryin to catch a break
      DK: he basically just rolls over for you
      DK: his vaunted special attack is just him going
      DK: and you do

      --- Charlotte's Web
      DK: so was wilbur reuinted with Charlotte in heaven
      AgentTon: She abandoned poor Wilbur when her THROBBING HORMONAL URGES kicked in
      AgentTon: ....
      Alek: Charlotte's Web 2
      Sancdar: pig in the city
      Alek: Because there were so many unanswered questions from the first movie
      Seris: it could be about the spiders that blew away
      Seris: the city
      AgentTon: "After the farm was sold to pay off Zuckerman's debts, Joy flew to the city, where she weaved her webs in the door of a local Vietnamese brothel."
      DK: Every day Tranh would cry. No one visited her. No one visited her despite her big hips and bountiful bosom. No one visited her because a man in her country had cut her face with a sharp knife. It left a white scar in the shape of a question-mark, puckered and terrible. And no man who wanted to enjoy himself could look upon it and stay happy. And so Tranh was alone.
      DK: Until that fateful day when the web appeared in her window
      DK: SOME
      DK: HO
      Alek: CHIN UP
      Alek: CHIN UP
      Alek: "Rhut you doin heah"
      AgentTon: Charlotte's Crabs.
      Alek: At the end, all the crabs spout silk threads and catch the wind, sailing off into the city:
      Alek: Tranh bolts to the window, shocked.
      Alek: "RAIT! WEAH YOU GOIN"
      AgentTon: Trahna all NO!!! YOU STAY HEAH!! DON'T LEAVE!!
      Alek: You realize this could have been a Disney cartoon from the 40's
      DK: It does have a Song of the South vibe about it
      Alek: Like the Japanese in Disney's cute little WWII propoganda films
      AgentTon: Or the WB ones, for that matter.
      AgentTon: Trahn is uniquely beautiful
      AgentTon: All her comrades are terrible buck-toothed caricatures
      AgentTon: Wacky and hilarious
      AgentTon: Also they get a song and dance number, "Whistle While You Jerk".
      AgentTon: Will Templeton find love with the beautiful female rat that lives in the brothel's outhouse? The two sing a beautiful duet in the tender and touching "Scabies Song".

    • Quote Log 5

      7 years ago

      Myshu chupariffic

      Mozz: woo hoo
      Mozz: finally MYSTERIOUSLY FOUND a translated version of this Not-ROM
      Mozz: as I am NOT hunting for roms right now
      DK: which one isn't it
      Mozz: exactly.
      Sancdar: ?_?

      Hermit: event horizon was a good movie because it had naked bloody sam neill
      Ezelek: Hermit I am concerned about the components that create a good movie for you.
      Ezelek: I am concerned.

      SaintNick: best story I got was when a girl came to visit me, and I convinced her there was no moon in texas
      SaintNick: and she was so pissed off at me for LYING TO HER that I lost any chance I may have had
      SaintNick: plus she was disgusted by my hairy back
      Zephira: Wait. What? She left you because she was retarded enough to believe there was no moon?
      SaintNick: Other reasons too, I'm sure
      SaintNick: but yeah, we were in the car, and she looked up at and asked where the moon was. I guess it was cloudy or some shit.
      SaintNick: "There's no moon in Texas." "Whaaaaaat?" "No, really," I started gesturing with my hands and driving with my knee, "Thanks to the spin of the earth, when it's dark in Texas, the moon's over China."
      SaintNick: "You've NEVER seen the moon?" "Well. I went to New Mexico, once."
      Myshu: gwahaha, you mean fuck
      Zephira: That's amazing
      SaintNick: amazing was about an hour later when she sat bolt upright, jammed her finger into the windshield and yelled "YOU LIED TO ME!!!"
      DK: lol, too clever for your own good
      SaintNick: well, she got me back later, maybe.
      SaintNick: "I think we should just be friends
      SaintNick: Because we wouldn't work out
      SaintNick: Because I want to be a man."
      SaintNick: I don't know if she was joking or not to this day

      DK: Well the biggest frustration I have with my relationship is I was scrupulously faithful to the point that messing around never crossed my mind while I was in EUROPE, fuck capital of PLANET EARTH
      DK: do you know how many 19 year old Chinese girls there were asking me about sex there
      DK: I'll tell you
      DK: two
      DK: but that's enough
      Myshu: Hot damn
      DK: jesus fuck what is this, american pie shit

      SaintNick: When I die, you guys better practice being sad. Because I'm hiring profesionals to mourn, and you'll all be upstaged if you're not prepared.
      SaintNick: A line of teenage girls cutting themselves. An Aretha Franklin lookalike screaming, wailing and trying to fit herself down the hole with the coffin. A sea of runny mascara.
      SaintNick: I will be missed, even if it costs my dependants their entire inheritance.
      SaintNick: and while we're at it, this song describes how I want to be buried.
      maggiekarp: I wanna say I'd be hella sad but that sounds like quite a show

    • Quote Log 4

      7 years ago

      Myshu chupariffic

      The following isn't particularly safe for work, mind or body:

      --- housemates
      maggiekarp: waah AT and fen left their phones here and they're ringing
      SaintNick: they're standing at a payphone trying to find their cellphones
      SaintNick: nobody wants to be bothered at the gym anyway
      maggiekarp: nah, I checked, it's Toby
      SaintNick: how is he?
      maggiekarp: so that's why I'm worried "wah should I answer and tell him they aren't here"
      SaintNick: if it's toby, sure
      maggiekarp: well he's stopped calling so it doesn't matter now
      SaintNick: I texted him
      maggiekarp: "ben and brooke are at the gym" "how did you know I was calling them" "maggie told me" "why didn't she answer the phone to tell me" "we all have asperger's toby you should be more sensitive"
      SaintNick: I covered all those basics in one text message, but pretty much yeah.
      SaintNick: ya'll have assburgers. I just have shitfries.
      maggiekarp: "ben@gym magie@spergin koff@sux"

      --- Chrono Trigger
      DK: And Crono only has him fucking self to blame
      DK: After they rescued Marle he could've stopped with the T. Traveling
      DK: I mean arguably they were fated because the timeline doesn't work unless they were but seriously
      Myshu: Well to be fair to Crono, he was talked into it by a hot chick
      Myshu: How many guys have fallen for that
      Myshu: And Lucca was right there at the time all "don't take this gate dawgs it's dumb" but Marle's all "yippie kiyay motherfuckers" so they're screwed
      DK: Let's just think about this
      DK: Let's say YOU jumped about a thousand years in the future, and found the earth a fucked out pile of glowing radioactive waste with a few synthetic fuckdomes where people were like eating and sodomizing cats. Would YOUR ass jump in a time machine and go try to kill Einstein or something?
      DK: No man, no. You'd just go back to your own life and think, "Thank God I don't live like a thousand years in the future, I'm sure they did something to deserve that hellish life they live."
      Myshu: lmao DK, this is why you can't be the hero of a JRPG
      maggiekarp: DK get in the goddamn time gate
      DK: Man even if I could've been convinced to go on this fucking adventure if I was Crono I would've taken that shit off the rails in a big way when we got to 65 million bee cee
      DK: So what do you think Gaspar does at the end of time.
      Mozz: probably just talks to spekkio
      Mozz: "hey remember when this happened?"
      DK: Like, does time pass for him?
      DK: Does he need to eat and void hisself?
      Myshu: I say no, for sanity's sake
      DK: Does he beat off? Well, I bet he does the last standing at the edge of his island.
      Myshu: grksl
      maggiekarp: it bubbles like his nose :X
      Hermit: he totally j/o's into the Lavos bucket
      Hermit: it's not like anyone's gonna fucking care if doomsday is just that little bit more slimy
      maggiekarp: "Step into that bucket if you want to fight Lavos" "COME ON CRONO LET'S G- ...oh you fuck I am wearing sandals"
      DK: "First and last man to fuck the time void," he shouts, watching his sperm fall away into oblivion, into the ultimate abyss. "I have defiled chronology itself. The 4th Dimension? MORE LIKE THE WHORETH DIMENSION!!!"
      DK: At this point Spekkio has to pull him back from the edge because he's drunk, so drunk.
      maggiekarp: yes DK yes
      DK: And those droplet's of Gaspar's semen? They're CHRONO CROSS
      maggiekarp: oh god it all makes sense
      AgentTon: oh dk
      AgentTon: just
      AgentTon: oh
      Myshu: If you're going to come, do it in the Lavos bucket

      --- not-girl trouble
      Myshu: Here's an amusing ol' myumemory--a shoecdote, if you will
      Myshu: Back in the fourth grade I used to call myself a tomboy--I found the concept fascinating ever since my mother told me about it
      Myshu: One day while playing in the woods with a guy friend he asked me what that word meant, apparently unfamiliar with it
      Myshu: I gave the most unfortunate answer ever
      Myshu: "It's a girl who wants to be a guy."
      Myshu: The look I got was priceless--I don't think he ever regarded me the same again
      Myshu: (the moral of the story is I'm bad with words)
      Sancdar: (and with boys)

    • Revolution Ch. 2 Complete, plus science

      7 years ago

      Myshu chupariffic

      Phew, and the second chapter of the comic is finally done. I'm going to quit posting pages directly to this journal to cut down on the spammage, but you guys know where to find 'em, eh?

      Of course you can keep watching me for... whatever weird things I do here, if you like.

      For instance: science*!

      Zephira: Totally not humorous question: Is jizz flammable or can you use it to put a fire out
      chatguy: you really want to know?
      chatguy: I'm guessing it's a fire retardant
      chatguy: but I've got a zippo, and nobody I care about not looking like a perverted idiot in front of is online.
      Zephira: Do it in the name of SCIENCE
      chatguy: it won't be the worst thing I've done for science, but no, you cannot watch.
      * Myshu salutes
      Myshu: For science! Something in me approves.
      Zephira: I am almost afraid to know what that something is, but then I approve as well
      chatguy: look, I want you two to do an experiment for me, okay
      chatguy: you need to go put a pot of gravy on the stove, turn it on high, and walk away
      chatguy: then you will invite me over, and I will tell you how much better that smells than what I'm smelling now.
      Zephira: Jizz + lighter = stinky?
      Myshu: Huh... who'da thunk
      chatguy: I'da thunk. Most of the bodies humours are not easily burned
      chatguy: fire's out, though, and I'm unburned.
      Zephira: Awesome. So if you're stuck in a burning bulding and have no other choice, masturbate as fast as you can
      chatguy: the actual experiment involved a bathtub, a windproof lighter, and aim I'm willing to pat myself on the back for.
      * Myshu claps briefly
      * Zephira applauds
      chatguy: "Fuck it, if I need another reason to never start smoking again, this will give me one."
      Zephira: Well it takes 570 degrees to get flesh to combust, so I guess the fluids would need a lot more than that...
      chatguy: you can put a sample on the stove, I guess
      chatguy: provided either of you fine ladies can find a sample
      chatguy: jesus christ, I might as well just give up, buy a trench coat, and learn to skulk.
      Zephira: Skulk?
      chatguy: am I wrong to think that skulking is what goths do when you put on ska?
      Myshu: This entire exchange is pretty much a 6.0 on the creepometer
      Zephira: How far does the creepometer gooo
      chatguy: 11
      Myshu: To 11, of course
      Zephira: So it's still five less than completely creepy
      chatguy: slightly creepier than the statistical average
      chatguy: the fact that I have a gay stalker is about an 8 on the creep-o-meter
      chatguy: it could go higher, but he's not very creative
      chatguy: god damn it, it was for science
      Zephira: Science kicks ass and records how loud the victim shrieks
      chatguy: If you ask any ten dudes on the street if they'll rub out a quick one for Science, the only question you'll hear back is "Does this involve electric shocks?"
      Zephira: Well now you can add "Does this involve lighters?" to that response
      chatguy: it's not like I was trying to juggle everything with one hand
      chatguy: you REALLY want too much information? DO you?
      Zephira: So what's scarier, penis science involving electric shocks, or fire?
      Myshu: ...
      chatguy: shocks. Being burned takes a while to really start hurting.
      chatguy: I'm not into pain like that, but I've been shocked, stabbed and burned on other parts of my body, and I think shocked is probably the worst of the three *to anticipate*
      DK: what the hell did i just walk
      DK: back into
      DK: what the hell honies
      Zephira: Herlow
      Myshu: [chatguy] set his jizz on fire for science
      Myshu: Results: not flammable, but smells bad
      DK: well man of course it's not flammable the prostate doesn't produce kerosene
      DK: I could've saved you all so much pain
      Zephira: Myshu, were you in pain?
      Myshu: This laughter hurts so good

      *actual screen name of chatguy hidden to protect the shameful

    • Quote Log 3

      7 years ago

      Myshu chupariffic

      --- Roger Smith has issues
      DK: Heart to heart I don't want to fuck a robot but I find it a fascinating fictional concept
      DK: It's just so weird
      DK: I mean they try to spin that it isn't, but it is
      DK: Roger Smith you got some real problems man
      SaintNick: I kind of identify with Kirk. Once it's up, I don't care if they're asian, black, green, or running linux. Lay~dees.
      DK: Yeah but think of this, what if robots just went on wild fuck sprees with each other or something. Like if two dude robots fucked, we'd call that gay but it can't be gay, robots don't have sex or gender.
      DK: Robots: just odd
      bionicfen: Look, if it looks like a duck
      bionicfen: walks like a duck
      bionicfen: has a dick like a duck's dick
      bionicfen: and goes 'beep beep'
      bionicfen: well
      bionicfen: it's close enough for government work

      --- 4th of July
      Sancdar: fireworks were awesome because there was this huge group of tipsy rednecks next to us
      Sancdar: reminiscing about like
      Sancdar: when one guy got drunk and passed out by the fireplace and his friend put a pat of butter in his asscrack
      Sancdar: there are no ways in which that story did not rock

      * Anga|Sleep is now known as Angahith
      Angahith: urk
      Angahith: i slept four hours
      Angahith: yay
      Myshu: wb
      Angahith: but i woke up realizing that the winner (if there is one) of a tic-tac-toe game is determined on the second player's first turn
      Myshu: Really?
      Angahith: X chooses center
      Angahith: If O chooses a corner, it's a tie
      Angahith: if not, O loses
      Angahith: (why in the world do i wake up with such thoughts in my head?)
      Myshu: Solving the world's problems in your sleep
      Myshu: (shoot for world hunger next)

      Myshu: Had a wonderful pawn shop customer today
      Myshu: A scrawny lady covered in tattoos pawning a stack of DVDs, claiming she just out of the hospital
      Mozz: by which she means rehab.
      Myshu: Well her story gets better
      Myshu: She goes on to say (totally unprompted) that she was in a head-on collision while driving her truck
      Myshu: And that she's not getting any compensation because the other driver was uninsured
      Myshu: "The other guy was barred up--and usually I'M the one on drugs, but I was totally sober that time"
      Myshu: Anyway I notice among her DVDs a five-disc stack of Evangelion episodes
      Myshu: I mention I've seen it and she lights UP
      Mozz: ....oh my. (again)
      Myshu: "I love that show, it's my favorite--I named my twin girls after Rei Ayanami and Asuka."
      maggiekarp: dopfjvdfjvdofv
      Mozz: ...oh no.
      Mozz: oh no.
      Myshu: "I even tattooed my girls' names on my arms--"
      Myshu: And she bared her wrists and PROVED IT
      maggiekarp: sweet jesus
      Mozz: i assume you immediately called CPS on this woman.
      Myshu: They were right on her wrists--the rest of her arms were covered in weird flowers and tribal shapes
      Myshu: Then she went on to say how fitting the names were for her kids (she named them before they were born)--how her Asuka was all red-headed and firey
      Seris: and a fucking psychopath?
      Myshu: I'm not sure if this was all barred-out fantasies of hers but it was hella fuckin' entertaining
      DK: LMAO FUCK yes
      DK: fuck yes
      DK: fuck yes
      DK: That story
      DK: so good
      DK: so good
      Myshu: I think the part I almost cracked at was when she was telling me about how she calls her kids
      Myshu: I couldn't get it straight because she was talking about the difference between the Japanese names and the English dub names and I'm not sure which way she meant, but I distinctly remember her line
      Myshu: "but when I shout AYANAMI across the house they know they're in trouble, hahaha"
      Myshu: I would pay to watch that household for a day
      DK: reality show based on parents who give children anime/videogame names
      maggiekarp: ffffffdfjdsjf
      DK: fffffuck yes
      Myshu: DK's having a 'gasm, MK's having a seizure
      DK: This story was quite literally better than sex. Just knowing this woman exists, is drugged, has been in prison, and has Asuka and Reibabies
      DK: Reibies?
      Myshu: hahaha
      Mozz: that WOULD explain some stuff.
      Myshu: My line of work, it has its perks

    • Quote Log 2

      7 years ago

      Myshu chupariffic

      Myshu: On an unrelated author's profile, we have an odd mix of taste in games
      Myshu: "may favorite games are the bouncer, dynastery, the resident evil games, any dateing game from japan, final fatasy series, metal gear games."
      maggiekarp: dynastery
      maggiekarp: the stomach illness that goes on generations?
      Myshu: "You have a long way to go before you'll fill up the family john, son."
      Mozz: the family portraits in the great hall
      Mozz: are all of guys hunched over with pained faces
      Mozz: rather than the traditional noble 3/4 pose.
      DK: lmao
      DK: final fatasy
      Mozz: final fatassy
      Myshu: It's the name of one of those Japanese dating games
      Myshu: Guess what the fetish is
      DK: it's like normal FF except everyone's morbidly obese
      DK: "Cloud... we gotta.... *gasp* blow the react... react...or..."
      Mozz: Quistis learned bad breath by eating an ENTIRE Malboro
      Mozz: (she unhinged her jaw and swallowed it whole in one gulp, like a Boa Constrictor.)
      DK: Rufus jumps up, grabs the helicopter, it shears sideways spinning and belching smoke wildly
      DK: steel groaning
      DK: Cid's gotten so angry and fat that he can't even get up, he's grown into the fibers of his couch and Shera has to feed him and wash him with "a rag on a stick"
      DK: He attacks by listlessly pointing his spear as rides his rascal around
      DK: Yuffie just eats the materia. Red's like a fat lion and diabetic and had his rear leg chopped off, I can see it all.
      Mozz: instead of stabbing Aeris, Sephiroth hits her with a stick
      Mozz: and she bursts like a pinata of intestine and cellulite
      DK: Ironically the only thin character is Palmer
      DK: "Do you have any TOFU for this tea?"
      Mozz: they mockingly call him "thin-ass"
      Mozz: he is ashamed of his uncouth skinniness
      Mozz: for fat is IN in midgar
      Mozz: (it's like the "Eye Of The Beholder" episode of twilight zone)
      DK: "They don't call it a pizza for nothin' mates"
      DK: Loveless retitled "Chinless"
      Mozz: even the bass line of the Turks theme song is slow and plodding
      Mozz: the tempo has been doubled
      DK: The chocobo race is more like the slow chocobo crawl
      DK: the theme playing slowly and distortedly
      Mozz: chocobo racewalk
      DK: bwaaaahhh bwahhhhh wonk wonk wonk waaaaaaahhhhhhh
      Mozz: heel toe heel toe heel toe WARK
      DK: The chocobos have to move by biting the earth and dragging themselves by the neck
      DK: it's sheer agony
      DK: the deranged crowd loves every moment
      Myshu: What about Sephiroth, man
      Myshu: What's his game
      Myshu: Does he summon a giant diet pill from space
      Mozz: he's trying to summon MEATBALL
      DK: Basically everything normally except he eats the black matrea
      DK: also he just bites Aeris' head off
      Mozz: no myshu
      Mozz: Holy IS the diet pill
      Mozz: in order to purify/save the planet, Homo Flabians may have to die
      Mozz: Sephiroth all "What if the planet ate a meal so filling it threatened the waistband itself?"
      Mozz: also now i'm imagining in final fatassy
      Mozz: the Squall/Seifer duel being two lardasses playing tug o war over the last drumstick of KFC extra crispy
      Mozz: FITHOS
      Mozz: (tugging)
      Mozz: "i'll be here."
      DK: scars are grease burns
      Mozz: "where?"
      Mozz: "here. At the restaurant. With reservations."
      Mozz: LUSEC
      Mozz: Cecil's epic ordeal to shed the pounds of a Lard Knight and become a Palathin.
      Mozz: rescuing Rosa just before the giant Salad Bowl falls on her head.
      Mozz: etc etc
      Myshu: Celes really does play the singing fat lady in the opera
      Mozz: OH MY HERO
      Mozz: (Sandwich)
      Mozz: SO FAR AWAY NOW
      Mozz: ON IT I WOULD SUP
      Mozz: BUT I'D HAVE TO GET UP
      * Myshu weeping applause
      Mozz: also, FFX
      Mozz: ends at the Mi'hen Highroad.
      Mozz: *huff*
      Mozz: *puff*"
      Mozz: "you mean...we gotta walk... all this?"
      Mozz: *wheeze*
      DK: "JUMP, KAIN, JUMP!"
      Mozz: lulu has to wear even MORE belts to get around her great girth
      Mozz: "Only a Summoner is allowed to enter the chamber of the fayth."
      Mozz: "is it dangerous in there?"
      Mozz: *sounds of muffled struggles, and hmmmf mmmg nom nom crunch snap nom nom*
      Mozz: as Yuna chows down on yet another aeon
      Mozz: a chunk of Ixion's horn clearly stuck between her teeth.
      Mozz: "I did it!
      DK: "Tidus!"
      Mozz: I....
      Mozz: ...became a summoner!"
      DK: "This is MY PASTRY."
      Mozz: Auron's ultimate weapon: the ASSAMUNE

    • Rvb: Revolution Ch. 2, 19-22

      7 years ago

      Myshu chupariffic

      (Psst check out the group this week for, uh... a surprise?)

      - "Not in the face!" -





      Phew, tired. I forgot how much that whole "waking up in the morning" part of the day shift can suck.
      On the bright side, I finally got my sister to watch Reconstruction. She wasn't as much a fan of the Blood Gulch Chronicles, so it was an uphill climb, there. But she likes season 6! So, success.

      Now then.

      *crawls into a cave to pass out*

    • Quote Log 1

      7 years ago

      Myshu chupariffic

      Since 2001, if there's been any single formative influence on my taste in media, sense of humor and personality in general, I feel I have to blame give credit to my friends from a tiny corner of the internet that shall go unnamed. In the past ten years many internet communities have sprung from the aether and either exploded into popularity ('sup RT) or withered into obscurity, and although you might say the latter of my dear friends and our dead website, we survivors have been camping on a remote little IRC island this whole time, riffing on video games, RPGs, bad fanfic and whatever we like (or don't.)

      Since I've been archiving funny quotes from our chat logs for nearly a decade, you can imagine I have quite a collection by now. So I figured, hell, this might be a good place to share a bit of the fun, instead of keeping all these quotes to myself. I hope y'all enjoy.

      --- comic books
      DK: All right, which of these stupid things to read next
      DK: Gotta be DARK CLAW
      DK: Wolverine+Batman
      Sancdar: oh god
      DK: "Are you the one they call PATCH MALONE?"
      DK: "Just my luck! Flamin' Cyborg-Assassins!"
      Sancdar: dark claw was actually really popular
      Sancdar: unfortunately
      Sancdar: also it bothers me that his name is logan wayne
      Sancdar: since wolverine's real name isn't logan
      * Sancdar nerds all up in this joint
      DK: skronky?
      DK: lmao oh god his partner is ROBIN+Jubilee
      DK: lmao oh fuck's sake
      DK: Some burglar breaks in to DARK CLAW'S APARTMENT
      DK: and he has like obvious anachronistic photos of himself in WWII fucking EVERYWHERE
      DK: and he has an OPEN WALK IN CLOSET just filled with fucking Dark Claw outfits, like twelve
      DK: Jesus Logan you better hope the super doesn't let the fucking exterminator in
      DK: This is why Dark Horse is my favorite comic book company
      DK: Also they publish Berserk which comes sealed in shrink wrap, making me feel a goddamned pervert
      maggiekarp: well when you enjoy Berserk it's kinda
      maggiekarp: implied

      --- Payback
      SaintNick: this movie was pretty okay until 2/3 of the way in when Mel Gibson decided he didn't want to play an amoral sociopath and started demanding rewrites
      SaintNick: suddenly the dog who was shot is back alive, and Porter has feeelings
      DK: Best Mel movie is still THE PATRIOT but not for the reasons he thinks
      DK: Legitimate best: Road Warrior
      DK: Reminder that Road Warrior has a group of death bikers named the "Gay Berserkers"
      DK: also "Smegma Crazies"
      SaintNick: this movie just really did bad by casting Gibson.
      DK: Mel Gibson is, don't take this the wrong way, hilariously antisemitic
      DK: Like just so antisemitic it's like a punchline from god
      DK: Who the fuck is an ANTISEMITIC DRUNK
      DK: Mel
      DK: Mel is

      DK: So my dad's coworker at the phone company
      DK: His wife worked as a receptionist at a doctor's office
      DK: And one day, they had a full waiting room.
      DK: When up to the front ambled this be-sweat-panted fifty year old snaggletoothed blob monster
      DK: "I GOT A QUESTION" says she
      DK: "Yes?" the receptionist asks
      DK: "Well, ma'am, he's busy, you'll have to make an appointme-"
      DK: "Well, ma'am, perhaps you could ask me."
      DK: And the woman leans in, conspirationally.
      DK: And then proceeds to ask, loud enough for the ENTIRE waiting room to hear
      DK: "No ma'am. No it would not."
      DK: As the entire waiting room bursts out in frantic laughter.
      DK: She spins on her heel and strides out.
      Myshu: lmfao

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