Myshu FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold chupariffic

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from Orange, TX

  • Activity

    • Quote Log 12 (NeverSFW)

      7 years ago

      Myshu chupariffic

      --- Final Fantasy VII
      Jack_Bauer: Seto got petrified because he smoked a shitload of weed and the mofo's still stoned, man.
      Myshu: helllll yeah
      Jack_Bauer: Give him like another decade, he'll come down
      Jack_Bauer: Serious munchies though
      Jack_Bauer: He'll eat Cloud's big emo character derailed face

      --- Blue Screen of Dick
      Myshu: ahaha FUCK I bluescreen'd, that was unpleasant
      Mozz: i'll bet.
      Myshu: Microsoft error report is as useful as ever, I must say
      Mozz: "SEND"
      Mozz: "DON'T SEND"
      Myshu: "You received this message because a hardware device, its driver, or related software has caused a blue screen error. This type of error means the computer has shut down abruptly to protect itself from potential data corruption or loss. In this case, we were unable to detect the specific device or driver that caused the problem."
      Myshu: This is basically Microsoft telling me, "Your computer ate a dick. We're not sure WHICH one--there's a lot of dicks out there."
      Mozz: "It might have eaten several. In a row."
      Mozz: "We don't know."
      Myshu: Great, and a bulleted list of suggestions too
      Myshu: * It could have eaten shit instead. Close any running assholes and restart the application.

      --- no shirt, no skateboard, no problem
      professor: So I had a student cut my class to play basketball downstairs in the gym today
      professor: and as I'm coming out of class, the kid's friend just whores him the hell out
      professor: "You got a STUDENT in there!" he says
      professor: "A student CUTTIN' YOUR CLASS!"
      professor: I just shake my head
      professor: and say
      professor: "Man, snitches get stitches."
      Mozz: XD
      Mozz: it's your duty as an educator to tell him this.
      professor: lmao I love that kid that skipped the class though
      professor: I probably shouldn't but he's just so friendly and belligerent about skipping it
      professor: Like I would've just walked past him on the way in but he's all
      professor: "HEY MISTER K!!!"
      professor: "Are you skipping my class?" I asked, not sounding too interested
      professor: "Nah man I'm gonna go get a t-shirt" (what the fuck?)
      professor: "You want a t-shirt?"
      professor: "No. Later, then"
      professor: He skipped my class.
      professor: Don't know the status of the T-shirt
      Mozz: heh
      Myshu: Wow.
      Myshu: I love this guy already
      Myshu: And you did NOT really say "snitches get stitches"
      professor: but I'm not upset about it
      professor: I just think it's funny
      professor: He makes C's and B's, he's obviously the kind of smart kid who doesn't really want to try that hard
      professor: I can deal with that
      professor: And yes I did say that but he didn't get a chance to respond because this idiot coach started yelling at him for having a skateboard
      professor: then he started yelling at one of my other students who runs the desk in the building for letting the guy in with a skateboard
      professor: "DON'T LET HIM IN WITH THAT"
      professor: "He wasn't riding it"
      professor: Anyway, this ass-chewing goes on for like thirty seconds, I'm just watching it
      professor: At about this point the kid who cut my class comes ambling out, nods at me
      professor: catches the end of the conversation, and says
      professor: "I didn't do anything!"
      professor: Coach: I know you didn't! DON'T LET PEOPLE BRING SKATEBOARDS IN!
      professor: This was just a huge clusterfuck thinking back on it
      L_Cully: Why aren't skateboards allowed in college
      professor: He brought it in the gym/physical health building
      professor: I teach upstairs there
      Angahith: because you can't just... dump it outside
      professor: Yes this was the impassioned argument the desk guy made
      professor: I settled for giving him moral support by shooting him a look behind the coach's back and rolling my eyes
      professor: Now I regret not making the "jerk off" gesture
      professor: but that would've been tempting fate I guess
      Mozz: heh
      Mozz: and remember
      Mozz: that coach gets a higher salary from the university than you.
      Mozz: you are a wise man, and know when it is safe to make the jerkoff gesture

      --- a dirty pun
      themis56: "Well if it makes you feel better, I submitted a photo of a statue/monument in Gettysburg, on my other user, and they deleted the deviation, suspended me for two weeks and said that I had submitted pornography."
      themis56: What is pornographic in Gettysburg
      themis56: is there like some statue of Lincoln composing the address in the nude
      Myshu: That would be a little awesome
      SaintNick: chinstrap pubes
      Hermit: Strategically placed stovepipe hat
      SaintNick: that's NOT a stovepipe hat
      themis56: or maybe there is a monument in tribute to the FORBIDDEN LUV of a Union and a Confederate solider on that battlefield?
      themis56: can love bloom on a battlefield? ;___;
      Mozz: love IS a battlefield, Themis.
      DK: "Four score and seventeen strokes ago, our foreskin slid back to reveal this cockinent, prime for fellation, conceiving a baby, and dedicated to the proposition that all positions are created equal. Now we are engaged with this great civil whore, testing whether that penis, or any penis so conceived and dedicated, can long endure. We are met between the heaving bosoms of that whore. We have come and dedicated a portion of that field, as a final resting place to the millions who here gave their lives and dried into a fine crust that the penis might spew. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this."
      Mozz: oh dear.
      * maggiekarp clap

    • Quote Log 11 (NeverSFW)

      7 years ago

      Myshu chupariffic

      Buckle up; this one's a doozy.

      --- once they get going it's kinda hard to stop them ...bowchickabowow
      Myshu: Oh hey CHAT, spot me here
      Myshu: I need as many euphenisms for sex as y'all can think of
      DK: riding the bologna pony
      DK: tripping the light fantastic
      DK: making the beast with two backs
      DK: schtupping
      DK: digging for gold
      DK: pressin' mattress
      DK: takin' dick drive to pussy lane
      DK: hiding the salami
      DK: getting to know one another
      Mozz: poundit poundit poundit poundit
      Alek: Wanging the Chung
      DK: having a wet meat party
      Mozz: Pink Plains Driftin'
      * Agent|FUCK has joined
      Mozz: oh, yeah, that's a good one, AT
      DK: traversing the chunnel
      Alek: Hopping on the good foot and doing the bad thing
      bionicfen: VERBING THE NOUN
      Alek: Harry Potter-ing your Chamber of Secrets
      DK: performing the slick skin symphony
      Agent|FUCK: Stabbin the Sarlacc pit
      DK: crossing the spoobicon
      Alek: Riding the Bomb
      Mozz: spoogicon
      Alek: boobicon
      DK: flesh pretzel
      DK: engaging in vigorous carnal discourse
      L_Culleany: coiting
      Alek: And, uh, Pedro.
      Mozz: heh
      Alek: Pedro?
      Alek: Yes ma'am. Pedro.
      Mozz: you've seen Varsity Blues too, eh Alek
      Alek: yeppers
      * Mozz surruptitiously hides a Kurt Vonnegut novel inside his playbook and reads that instead
      * Agent|FUCK is now known as AgentTon
      DK: parting the curtain
      AgentTon: Parting the red sea
      Alek: Around the World in 80 Seconds
      Alek: Journying to the Center of the Earth
      AgentTon: Prostastic
      DK: taking the Big Whale to the Moon
      DK: Killing Tellah
      DK: Climing Mt. Ordeals
      Mozz: reviving the power of the ORBS
      Mozz: junctioning the GF
      Alek: Impaling Aeris
      L_Culleany: Summoning Odin
      Mozz: Listening To My Story.
      DK: Filling her Journey with Laughter
      Alek: HA HA HA HA HA.
      Mozz: HA HA HA HA
      bionicfen: Effing the Bee
      L_Culleany: Finding the Seagull
      DK: Satisfying Leblanc
      L_Culleany: Plundering the Phoenix Cave
      DK: Feeding Cid some Fish
      Mozz: Mastering the Job System
      bionicfen: Being Captain Basch von Rosenburgh
      Alek: Playing the Golden Saucer
      DK: Exploring Burmecia
      L_Culleany: Finding the Pink Tail
      Mozz: we would also have accepted Fighting The Pink Puff
      AgentTon: Puff puff~
      Alek: Finding the Huge Materia
      Mozz: Having Sexual Intercourse.
      Mozz: oh, wait.
      Mozz: oops.
      Myshu: lmao fuck you
      Myshu: (ah shit that counts)
      DK: Giving the Slab to Dr. Unne
      DK: Waking the Elven Prince
      DK: Exploring the Marsh Cave (ewwwwww)
      Mozz: Giving Matoya the Crystal
      Alek: Banging the Odine Bangle
      Alek: Playing Bang a Banga
      Myshu: Chocobang Hot & Cold
      AgentTon: Banging the drum slowly.
      AgentTon: Bridge Over the River Thigh.
      DK: Putting Cloud in a Wheelchair
      L_Culleany: TCELES B GNIHSUP
      AgentTon: Riding the rocket to Erectiontown.
      AgentTon: Thinking with Pornals.
      Mozz: Raising Ophelia
      DK: Unleashing the Id
      DK: Crucifying Chu-Chu
      AgentTon: Chu-Chu Pocket.
      AgentTon: someone out there has to call their vagina that.
      L_Culleany: Uniting the Democratic Party
      DK: Earning Fifteen Silver Points
      DK: Yanking Ozzie's Chain
      Myshu: ewwwww
      Mozz: Eating the Power Mushroom
      DK: Climbing into Kuribo's Shoe
      L_Culleany: Finding Schala
      DK: lmaso
      Myshu: Sleeping in the Enertron
      Alek: Mastering the Mastermune
      AgentTon: Minding the Gap.
      DK: Pouring Wine onto Toma's Grave
      AgentTon: Racing Jonny.
      DK: Delivering the Beef Jerky
      L_Culleany: Breaking the Time Egg
      DK: Tickling the Nu
      Alek: Beating the Green Jogger
      AgentTon: Feeding the pussies.
      L_Culleany: Tiger Apricot
      DK: Burning the Plant
      Myshu: Riding the Epoch
      Myshu: Ringing Leene's Bell
      L_Culleany: Laying the Master Sword to Rest
      Mozz: shooting the silver arrows
      L_Culleany: Catching the Fairy
      DK: Feeding the Red Yoshi
      L_Culleany: adfsdas
      L_Culleany: ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwuh
      L_Culleany: Launching the Shell
      AgentTon: Floating the Peach.
      DK: Stomping Bowser
      Alek: Eating the Shyguy
      L_Culleany: Pressing the Witness
      L_Culleany: Presenting the Evidence
      Myshu: Phoenix Drive
      Mozz: Closing The Case, Cully.
      L_Culleany: Examining the Scene
      AgentTon: Bomping the Bullet Bill.
      DK: Cracking the Psyche-Lock
      L_Culleany: Channeling the Mentor
      DK: Meeting Pearly
      AgentTon: Visiting the Mushroom Kingdom.
      DK: Entering the Warp Zone
      Mozz: Using Cerebro
      Mozz: Entering the Danger Room
      Alek: Playing the Magic Flute
      DK: But Doctor, I fucked Pagliacci
      Stellaluna: Blowing the Ocarina of Time
      L_Culleany: Feeding Boco a couple of Zeio Nuts
      Myshu: Using the G-Diffuser
      AgentTon: Kuribo's Blew
      L_Culleany: Riding the Hiryuu
      AgentTon: Dry Boned.
      Mozz: smashing the pumpkins
      DK: Waiting for the Blue Shell
      L_Culleany: Squatting Down the Pipe
      DK: Entering the Toad House
      L_Culleany: Refusing To Let The Future Change
      AgentTon: Oohmba.
      DK: Removing the Limiter
      AgentTon: Boo Diddler.
      L_Culleany: Shooting the Rabid Dog
      AgentTon: Shooting the Duck Hunt Dog.
      DK: That'll Do, Pig

    • Quote Log 10 (NeverSFW)

      7 years ago

      Myshu chupariffic

      --- no-man's chat
      * Cadet56 has joined
      * Cadet56 has left
      DK: the army makes a man brave
      DK: but not THAT brave

      --- how viruses think
      Sancdar: alirght guys time to do more virus cleaning
      Sancdar: boo for trojan dlls that link to every fucking process on my system
      Sancdar: "notepad.exe needs to access the internet to download more viruses, is this okay?"
      maggiekarp: "no"
      maggiekarp: "are you sure?"
      maggiekarp: "n- wait a minute"
      maggiekarp: "hahhaha fuck you human"

      --- mystical chamberpot
      Rydia: i'm so glad obama gave the winston churchill bust back to the british
      Rydia: just look at the fucking thing
      Rydia: how hideous
      Rydia: apparently churchill was that ceo guy from x-men 1 when he got mutated
      Sancdar: he looks like a shit genie
      Sancdar: also the dude was a senator
      Rydia: w/e
      Angahith: XD
      Angahith: shit genie
      Sancdar: rub the mystical chamberpot
      Sancdar: and if you are lucky a shit genie will appear

      --- Stone Cold Dungeons and Dragons
      Mozz: anyway yeah, what little i've read of dnd/classic d20 seems too rule and tables heavy and puts me off.
      Donraj: I didn't think it was so bad before I tried WoD
      Donraj: But then the only thing I had to compare it to was, uh
      Donraj: 2nd edition D&D
      Mozz: the WoD system is at the right level of dice rolling geekery but not getting in the way of storytelling geekery.
      DK: Well, the thing with WoD is it is very easy to remember
      DK: you add two numbers together, roll that many dice, count the result
      DK: of course the 3:16 system is even more minimal
      Rydia: is that where you call in steve austin to perform a body slam

      --- Final Fantasy Dissidia
      DK: Man I can't get behind 589, I'm sorry. It's not even a gay thing, it's a crossover thing. I couldn't enjoy 589 if it were Faris, Selphie, and Garnet placed in some Rube Goldbergian fuck configuration that would get off a damn Venusian.
      Alek: Sephiroth only lasts a minute and a half with Ultimecia. But I mean that's with Time Kompression
      Alek: So like three minutes
      L_Cully: "I see you are a multilayered character," Kefka remarks as Onion Knight bleeds to death at his feet
      L_Cully: "LMAO" he dances
      maggiekarp: tch fran ain't furry
      maggiekarp: she is like boning a playboy bunny on a bear skin rug at worst
      themis56: I've been playing some FFX blitzball
      themis56: and I sometimes get into it
      themis56: I yell at my players
      themis56: I'm like their coach
      Mozz: sadly themis, in x2 you are their coach
      Mozz: and you coach a team of losers
      themis56: I prefer my way
      Mozz: the coaching strategy in X1 is just like that episode of Fresh Prince
      Mozz: where will joins the basketball team
      Mozz: "what's our imbound play coach?"
      Mozz: "...Pass it to Will."
      DK: I'm sorry, every bit of humor re: jecht is forever downhill from that hilarious conversation I had about him with Black years ago
      DK: Where we postulated that the final battle of FFX should've been a blitzball duel
      DK: Jecht vs. your team, with moves like Jecht Shot MK. VI which involves ripping Tidus's head off and kicking it into the goal for a point

      --- monster washers
      Rydia: okay so i just saw this commerical
      Rydia: with a monster truck going up a ramp and driving on top of two rows of washing machines
      Rydia: and at the bottom it says * do not try this at home
      Rydia: whose home is that
      Mozz: Gravedigger's.
      Rydia: i guess they have to be cautious
      Rydia: but how are you going to get two long rows of washing machines and a monster truck
      Rydia: maybe they're warning against driving a truck through a laundromat

    • 7 years ago

      Myshu chupariffic
    • Quote Log 9 (NeverSFW)

      7 years ago

      Myshu chupariffic

      --- Aladdin at the opera
      Seris: riff-raff
      maggiekarp: street rat
      maggiekarp: YOU DID THIS TO ME
      Seris: i dont
      maggiekarp: buy that
      Seris: if only theyd look closer
      Seris: would they see a poor boy
      maggiekarp: no siree
      Seris: NO SIR-EE
      Seris: theyd find out
      maggiekarp: there's so much more
      Seris: to
      maggiekarp: meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
      * maggiekarp strangle duet
      Seris: my theory is proven
      Seris: the reprise is the only song that 1) everybody knows and 2) will sing along to when prompted
      Mozz: never heard of it.
      Seris: mozz i am going to cum in your hair
      maggiekarp: it's only like three lines seris
      Seris: exactly
      maggiekarp: celes could memorize that shit
      Seris: yeah but that bitch would hella ham that shit up
      maggiekarp: "warb warb BLAR BARL bler warb BARB WARB"
      maggiekarp: (everyone in ff6 speaks in warbles)
      maggiekarp: (it's like mario sunshine but arousing)
      Seris: she let all that opera star crap get to her head so whenever she sings now shes just a big show off and everybody rolls their eyes at her when she opens her mouth
      Seris: "RiiiIIIFF Raaaffff"
      Seris: "stlllleeeet raaaaaaat"
      Seris: locke is all "EDGAR SABIN get over here and shove your dicks in my ear and drown this shit OUT"
      Seris: they oblige, happily
      maggiekarp: they like the song that was their favorite movie growing up
      Seris: they high-five over locks head

      --- sea turtle eggs
      DK: God like
      DK: it's only ironically but I love Kesha
      DK: she's litereally like Lady Gaga's retarded sister who's been into some lead based paints
      DK: just eating them all day
      DK: just doing deranged shit that makes zero sense
      maggiekarp: DK rewrite the Parent Trap to star Kesha and Lady Gaga
      DK: who are the parents
      maggiekarp: Madonna and Cee-Lo Green
      * DK writin'
      - a few minutes later -
      DK: "Gaga! You GET OUTTA THAT ROOM, it's time for ya show!" Daddy Cee-Lo ranted, flailing his tiny rexarms as if he were trying to pedal an invisible bicycle that you pedaled with your hands. He was wearing his sunglasses like always cause he was high as all fuck even though it was seven am on a Sunday. As he waited for his daughter, he perambulated about the hallway, colliding with doorframes and rebounding, an erratic black meteorite.
      DK: The Haus of Gaga (feat. Cee-Lo) was a Narnian warren of secret passages and eldritch chambers, throbbing with strange light, full of body glitter and sex toys shaped like they were made for pleasuring aliens. Cee-Lo had seen many things within its walls, things man was not meant to see, things like loose collections of limbs slapped together, sprayed with liquid latex, and set to dancing to barely concealed Ace of Base Samples.
      DK: Thus, when the door opened, he never expected to be surprised. Gaga - Kesha - stood there, wearing lycra bicycle shorts and a pink tank top that read AQUAMAN IS MY PUSSY INSPECTOR.
      DK: She wore an LA Clippers cap glued to a NY Yankees cap glued to a Harlem Globetrotters cap glued to a Red Wings cap, bills sticking out from her head in every cardinal direction like the world's most retarded Zelda monster. Fifteen of those metal slap bracelets that were a big deal at school for like three weeks when you were in sixth grade glimmered on each of her arms and she had curled a neon green pool noodle about her midriff.
      DK: The crotch of the bicycle shorts had been cut out, but three novelty pushpins of Mount Rushmore driven into the pool noodle held a dishtowel emblazoned with Spongebob Squarepants as a veil over her mons, a crotch hijab both merciful and utterly moronic.
      DK: On one leg, she wore an imitation Wolverine boot (blue and black classic X-Men version), on the other a pair of neon green fishnets that a bag lady at Grand Central station had used as a desperate and utterly ineffective maxi pad, Rorschach-blotted with uterine effluvia.
      DK: Crackerjack-box rings and coke can pull tabs glimmered on every finger. A nose stud revealed Dizzy, the mascot of the Atlanta Olympics. A combination of school paste and roadie semen cemented painted cheerios on her face in patterns that recalled the angry, inchoate, and incoherent handwriting of a calligraphist-cum-stroke victm.
      DK: Pink Hello Kitty hipster glasses. A scarf made out of a Bugles bag. Blue lip gloss. And body glitter, so much body glitter. It hung in the air, a mobile cloud of funk. It stung Daddy Cee-Lo's eyes, even behind their protective glasses.
      DK: "How do oi look, Daddyums?" Kesha said, desperately trying to fake a Mother Monster accent but not quite freeing herself of her nasal twang.
      DK: "Fuck you."
      DK: ---THE END---
      * Myshu spittake
      Myshu: How is that poor child able to walk
      Myshu: She just has to waddle around, glitter and scraps of cloth falling in her wake like Okami flowers
      DK: Well in this version of the Parent Trap she's just well, as she is
      DK: it's just totally inexplicable but there it is
      DK: why were she and Gaga, as grown women, even at Summer Camp
      DK: Meanwhile Gaga is choking down one of Madonna's dinners which is just an ashtray full of cigarette butts and those big, cheap, puffy, virulently orange Cheeze Doodles
      DK: "This is your favorite, Kesha, I don't understand!"
      DK: "I guess at least you'll have enough room for dessert!" It's store-bought banana pudding served in a glitter-filled woman's pump.
      DK: Gaga eats it. The glitter is cutting her gums.
      DK: Cutting deep.

    • Quote Log 8 (NeverSFW)

      7 years ago

      Myshu chupariffic

      I think I might have found my single favorite video on all of youtube.

      But anyway, back to the chat.

      Donraj: I always have trouble keeping the Chinese words for 'left' and 'right' straight
      Alek: LEFTU
      Alek: RIGHTU
      Alek: Oh, Chinese.
      Donraj: And the only meme I can ever think of to make them stick in my head is the fact that the one for 'right' looks/sounds like the character for 'oil'
      Donraj: So I try to remember to just think of the Republicans whenever it comes up

      themis56: huh, this one NJ guy named his kids after Nazis
      themis56: FATHER OF THE YEAR
      themis56: oh lawds: JoyceLynn Aryan Nation Campbell,
      themis56: Honszlynn Hinler Jeannie Campbell
      themis56: You can name a girl Aryan Nation now?
      DK: "What's the A.N. stand for?"
      DK: "Nothing, it's like the S. in Truman"
      maggiekarp: more or less stupid than Sephiroth
      DK: Less. I mean it's arguably more loathesome, but it does display devotion to a philosophy that actually exists, though it is terrible
      DK: Naming a child Sephiroth displays a devotion to Final Fantasy VII
      maggiekarp: good answer
      themis56: I await the kid named Don Corneo

      DK: Also listen I'm just gonna come out and say this
      DK: Batman should be fucking ashamed that the Joker can hold his own with him in a physical fight most of the time
      DK: I mean Batman like trained with evry martial arts master ever
      DK: Joker's a crazy guy
      DK: The two shouldn't match up
      Alek: Well it's Crazy vs. Karate
      Mozz: i don't know karate
      Mozz: but i know ka-RAZY
      AgentTon: Joker's got that wirey psycho energy.
      bionicfen: the joker does not feel pain, man
      bionicfen: ever
      bionicfen: or rather he likes it
      bionicfen: also it's kind of like you know how there was that one kid
      bionicfen: back in junior high
      bionicfen: who like went out of his way to get beaten up
      bionicfen: and then he'd make creepy moaning sounds while it happened
      bionicfen: and then eventually nobody wanted to smack him around anymore because it was just kind of gross
      bionicfen: well it's like that
      AgentTon: Fen
      AgentTon: That was you.

      Dogu: The Wall is on VH1... and I'm out of drugs...
      Mozz: curses,
      Mozz: you'll just have to try and enjoy The Wall.... SOBER
      * Mozz dun dun dun
      Dogu: CANNOT BE DONE!
      * Mozz ominous minor chord

      --- pawne shoppe
      Myshu: So today at work I watched an act of female ejaculation on a customer's computer
      Sancdar: why?
      Mozz: why NOT
      Mozz: oh wait um
      maggiekarp: it was just pee shu
      maggiekarp: don't get your hopes up, there is nothing good for us
      DK: It's sadly a hotly debated topic
      DK: apparently it's a pee like fluid
      DK: or something I don't even know
      Angahith: Supposedly it contains only traces of pee, because it is expelled through the urethra
      Sancdar: well
      Sancdar: it's a pawn shop
      Sancdar: was he pawning the porn?
      Sancdar: was he pawning the computer and wanted to demonstrate the video capabilities?
      Sancdar: was he pawning her fluids and needed to show the origin?
      Sancdar: also i guess if i pawned my computer i would encrypt all my porn
      Sancdar: but also i wouldn't pawn my computer
      Myshu: Well the customer wasn't there, it was a pulled item and we were "cleaning" it
      Myshu: When the owner finished gaping at what we found he asked WHY we were watching that, and I responded, "Well we have to FIND the porn before we can delete it, right?"
      maggiekarp: hehehe
      Myshu: The video in question is pretty hilarious
      Sancdar: describe in vivid detail
      * Sancdar takes notes
      Myshu: It's a white girl jilling off on a bed while a big black guy crouches at the foot and observes closely, wearing safety goggles
      Myshu: We're wondering why the hell he's dressed like so for about thirty seconds before the GYSER kinda answers it
      Sancdar: oh
      Sancdar: i think i know who the star is
      * Sancdar cough cough
      * Myshu raised eyebrow
      Sancdar: well there's only one porn star who could produce enough force to require safety goggles
      Sancdar: just saying
      Sancdar: i mean there might be more
      Sancdar: but i hope not
      Sancdar: someday she will have sex and accidentally puncture the dude's abdomen with her ejaculate
      Sancdar: A CRIME OF PASSION
      Myshu: Well whoever she was, for the next half hour I couldn't quit chirping "skeet skeet" in front of customers
      maggiekarp: why does that sound cute
      Myshu: See? It does
      Myshu: Actually my first comment on the whole thing was, "I thought that was a myth..."
      Myshu: manager: "I... guess not? Oh look, his goggles have little windshield wipers! That's so funny"
      Angahith: HAHAHAHAHA
      maggiekarp: windshieljlc

    • A Field Trip To Jack...

      7 years ago

      Myshu chupariffic

      ...Patillo's Bar-B-Q.

      A few of you might recall this establishment being mentioned on podcast #123. It's in Beaumont, TX--and hell, I work in that town--so I'd meant to go check it out for a while.

      Since I worked an early shift today, I finally got a good chance this afternoon. As soon as I got off work, I brought my camera and an appetite for BBQ.
      Hah, it even has a rooster on top. How ironic.
      Weird, it doesn't look open...
      Hey, what's that on the door?

      tl;dr I'm at home eating a microwave hot dog.

    • Quote Log 7 (NeverSFW)

      7 years ago

      Myshu chupariffic

      Hmm, I'd like to make one of those intarweb videos, but I've never done such a thing in my life. For starters, can anyone recommend a good way to capture audio from a DVD?

      --- hb google
      Myshu: Huh, google turned 13
      Myshu: If it were Jewish it'd be considered a man
      Mozz: technically before being a man Google would have to study for and pass its Browsermitzvah
      Mozz: which it would have an unfair advantage in doing what with the built in translator

      --- no power 1
      themis56: oh HELL
      themis56: POWER OUTAGE
      themis56: running on battery
      themis56: Jeezus does this chat have a voodoo curse on it or what
      Mozz: aww
      themis56: oh wait back on now
      themis56: OH, I know what happened
      themis56: for some reason the power switch in my parents' room affects the light in this room as well; so when they turn off their overhead light then mine does too
      Mozz: how odd and inconvenient
      themis56: so for a few seconds I was plunged into darkness
      themis56: but then I noticed my clock was still running
      themis56: It's some weird circuitry thing that is new to me
      themis56: it started to happen when they got new lights for their room
      themis56: and I guess they thought it would be worth a giggle to be able to control MY OWN LIGHTING as well >:[
      Mozz: as long as you're under MY HOUSE
      Mozz: you'll live under MY lighting

      --- no power 2
      * Sancdar_ has joined
      * Sancdar has quit IRC (Ping timeout: 180 seconds)
      Sancdar_: hnnngh
      Sancdar_: my roommate's method of figuring what is plugged in where is to unplug things and check what no longer works
      Sancdar_: (the answer is the internet)

      --- hot pockets are that good, damnit
      Dogu: So, going back to the boob thing... I have an AWESOME "show me your boob story" that ends in me being totally humiliated.
      Sancdar: Dogu, were you talking to someone with an extensive collection of birds?
      Sancdar: or a very fat man?
      Jerm: Or both
      Dogu: it actually involves an actual girl. And actual boobs.
      Dogu: It was quite a few years ago. I was about nineteen.
      Dogu: And hanging out at the local mall.
      Dogu: This one chick comes up and starts talking to one of the friends I was hanging out with.
      Dogu: I can't remember how it came up in conversation, but she ended up saying "I don't care, I'd flash my boobs to anyone for $2."
      Dogu: Guess who had $2.
      Sancdar: it was her
      Schala: I'd ask for $50 grand
      Sancdar: schala: that's why nobody will ever pay to see your tits
      Schala: I have my reasons for wanting $50 grand
      Sancdar: uh
      Sancdar: i have good reasons for wanting $50 grand too
      Sancdar: but unless your tits can cure aids visually or something
      Sancdar: wait
      Sancdar: can they?
      DK: Are you saying you have AIDs?
      Sancdar: i'm saying it wouldn't be worth it unless there were benefits of that magnitude, you worm
      Dogu: So I pull the said amount out of my wallet and said "Well, how about it, then?"
      Dogu: She grabs my arm and PULLS me through the mall to the elevator going up to the second floor.
      Dogu: We get inside, push "2" and as soon as the door closes, her shirt is off, and she's standing there in her bra. The elevator hits the top floor. And WON't SHUT AGAIN!
      Dogu: it keeps closing 3/4 of the way, and opening again.
      Myshu: Elevator boobs, how transient
      maggiekarp: God tittyblocked you, Dog
      maggiekarp: it is a sign
      Sancdar: t dogu, does the story end with you going down
      Dogu: this goes on for about 45 seconds, with her huddled in the corner so no one sees her, and me trying to figure out how to close the door.
      Dogu: Finally, as it's closing, I use both hands, and force the doors to close.
      Dogu: As I turn away, I see a topless girl THROWING herself at me.
      Dogu: And for about the next three seconds, she's making out with me.
      maggiekarp: classy
      Myshu: $2 ho
      Dogu: I then have to help her redress before the door opens up again.
      Sancdar: back in the dorms i got to see tits for a hot pocket
      Mozz: why, those are only 1.29 each!
      Mozz: Sanc gettin a BARGAIN
      Myshu: fuck yeah I'd show my tits for a hot pocket
      Dogu: That being done, the door opens, and we go off to our respective friends.
      Dogu: Mine asks me what happened.
      Dogu: So I tell him and he says "Dude, you know how old she is?"
      Dogu: she was thirteen
      maggiekarp: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
      Myshu: whooooa
      maggiekarp: knew that was coming
      Sancdar: way to be a closet elevator pedo
      DK: this is now
      DK: the worst
      DK: story
      Sancdar: dude
      Sancdar: she wasn't even legal in japan
      Mozz: unless dogu had a tentacle handy, sanc
      Dogu: Didn't look a day under eighteen. I felt like such a dirty fucking pervert, I wanted to die.
      DK: lmao that's on your friend for not throwing himself in front of you
      DK: Essentially it was his duty to cockblock you at that point
      DK: But he didn't step up
      Dogu: I KNOW!
      Dogu: A "Hey, dude, JAILBAIT ALLERT!" would have been FUCKING FANTASTIC.

    • 7 years ago

      Myshu chupariffic
    • Quote Log 6 (NeverSFW)

      7 years ago

      Myshu chupariffic

      So, my sister likes to watch Survivor. While watching it with her last night I couldn't help notice that the tribe colors this season are red and blue, so when the red tribe won a challenge I sat up and shouted, "Suck it Blue!!"
      Fortunately she got the joke, so I wasn't a flailing idiot there.

      Sancdar: IN SOVIET RUSSIA
      Sancdar: AND GET MONO
      Mozz: whereas in MODERN CAPITALIST RUSSIA
      Mozz: (and then drop you out of window in "an unfortunate accident")

      --- tough shit
      maggiekarp: you ever shit so hard you passed out
      maggiekarp: you ever shit so hard you see God and he's just clapping slowly
      Seris: i wonder if its possible to take a really good shit and orgasm from it
      Seris: because it grinds up against the prostate just right
      DK: I had a friend in college who got drunk and swore to me that that had happened to him
      DK: "It was pretty scary"
      DK: yeah bro it was even scarier THE SECOND TIME
      Haruhi2: cumshits
      Seris: i have a hard time believing its possible because shit is so malluable
      Seris: i mean even the hardest shit has some give to it
      Myshu: I dunno, there are some tough shits, like rocks
      Seris: maybe its possible to induce orgasm from shitting if you like, prairie dog your shit
      maggiekarp: I think if you're worked up before hand the bit of friction could cause an orgasm
      Seris: man thatd be weird
      Seris: its like "oohh dear im going to cum but aaauugghh gotta take a dump"
      Seris: "brb"
      Seris: then all you hear out of the bathroom is the sound of a fucking boulder tumbling down a fleight of stairs and splashing into a rivine
      Seris: and then this monsterous moan of a beast waking from its sleep
      Myshu: Gads, the imagery
      maggiekarp: I was thinking more jerking off on the toilet maybe
      maggiekarp: experiments continue in science I'm sure
      Myshu: For science! ...Ugh.
      Myshu: Never has that saying felt so dirty

      --- Punch Out
      Seris: meanwhile yall should be playing a -real- mans game
      Seris: like punchout for the wii
      Seris: ps bald bull is still an enormous asshole
      Seris: aauughgh fuck great tiger
      Seris: it took me like 3 tries to win against that magician fuck
      DK: He's easy as shit once you realize how to block his punches
      Seris: meanwhile i was ko'ing every motherfucker flawlessly before than but then him and his big jewel encrusted toilet hat come barging in and screaming in arabic and little mac is just tryin to catch a break
      DK: he basically just rolls over for you
      DK: his vaunted special attack is just him going
      DK: and you do

      --- Charlotte's Web
      DK: so was wilbur reuinted with Charlotte in heaven
      AgentTon: She abandoned poor Wilbur when her THROBBING HORMONAL URGES kicked in
      AgentTon: ....
      Alek: Charlotte's Web 2
      Sancdar: pig in the city
      Alek: Because there were so many unanswered questions from the first movie
      Seris: it could be about the spiders that blew away
      Seris: the city
      AgentTon: "After the farm was sold to pay off Zuckerman's debts, Joy flew to the city, where she weaved her webs in the door of a local Vietnamese brothel."
      DK: Every day Tranh would cry. No one visited her. No one visited her despite her big hips and bountiful bosom. No one visited her because a man in her country had cut her face with a sharp knife. It left a white scar in the shape of a question-mark, puckered and terrible. And no man who wanted to enjoy himself could look upon it and stay happy. And so Tranh was alone.
      DK: Until that fateful day when the web appeared in her window
      DK: SOME
      DK: HO
      Alek: CHIN UP
      Alek: CHIN UP
      Alek: "Rhut you doin heah"
      AgentTon: Charlotte's Crabs.
      Alek: At the end, all the crabs spout silk threads and catch the wind, sailing off into the city:
      Alek: Tranh bolts to the window, shocked.
      Alek: "RAIT! WEAH YOU GOIN"
      AgentTon: Trahna all NO!!! YOU STAY HEAH!! DON'T LEAVE!!
      Alek: You realize this could have been a Disney cartoon from the 40's
      DK: It does have a Song of the South vibe about it
      Alek: Like the Japanese in Disney's cute little WWII propoganda films
      AgentTon: Or the WB ones, for that matter.
      AgentTon: Trahn is uniquely beautiful
      AgentTon: All her comrades are terrible buck-toothed caricatures
      AgentTon: Wacky and hilarious
      AgentTon: Also they get a song and dance number, "Whistle While You Jerk".
      AgentTon: Will Templeton find love with the beautiful female rat that lives in the brothel's outhouse? The two sing a beautiful duet in the tender and touching "Scabies Song".

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