Myshu FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold chupariffic

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from Orange, TX

  • Activity

    • Quote Log 27 (NeverSFW)

      6 years ago

      Myshu chupariffic

      For anyone asking about chupababies, the current list of characters that are claimed is right here. If there's anyone y'all want to adopt who isn't on there yet, let me know!

      And now, for something completely different.

      --- wee wee talk (warning: completely fuckin' gross)
      Myshu: Men have terrible bladders.
      DK: I can't imagine women are much different
      DK: Aside from the spray
      Myshu: lmao, sprayin'
      Drew: ah yes
      Drew: the art of fine urination control.
      DK: I'm just saying yes a man can force a pee but when the bladder is empty it needs time to recover
      DK: Or else you're pissing knives and getting like one drop
      DK: Dude have you ever been pissing and then like trip or something horrible and have to stop the flow
      DK: My god that hurts with universe-rending force
      DK: UNIVERSE RENDING
      Myshu: You guys are speaking from a lot of experience
      DK: Every man has this experience
      Drew: no
      Drew: once I start, nothing stops.
      Myshu: Hahaha you sorry cunts
      Myshu: I could pause enough to piss the national anthem
      Drew: the only problem occurs when I sneeze
      DK: Once I was pissing and a bag of popcorn in the microwave burst into flame
      DK: I staggered desperately out of the bathroom with God's own death happening in my loins
      DK: Then you feel bad for like three hours with your bladder all: ">:( - you're fucked up"
      Drew: microwaves come and go man
      Drew: you're only gifted one urinary tract
      Myshu: Man, what happens when you sneeze
      DK: While you're pissing?
      Drew: look myshu
      Drew: I won't say it is pretty
      Drew: it aint.
      DK: spastic spurt pretty much
      Drew: generally you have to try and control the sneeze
      DK: But see it's pointed out and away from you
      Drew: yeah. And if you're unlucky the nozzle, it goes a'crazy
      DK: If you're holding it securely during the sneeze, it's not like it's gonna fly up in your face
      Drew: I'm not talking about a little a-tishoo
      Drew: I'm talking about a full-body nosegasm
      DK: Man that's controllable
      DK: I'm just sayin'
      DK: That's totally controllable
      Drew: look man I get hayfever
      Drew: and some of the sneezes I get are beyond mortal control
      DK: The only time I've ever gotten wee on my pants is in the dreaded "last shake" sequence
      DK: Wherein a small band of piss partisans hiding in you make a desperate bolt for the Green Zone when you shift position after
      DK: It's like the song goes
      Drew: the only times I've got piss on my pants is when Mr. Foreskin has made things complicated
      DK: "No matter how much you jump and dance, the last two drops go in your pants" OH JESUS LET'S NOT BRING THE FORESKIN INTO THIS
      Drew: hahahahaha
      Drew: ohhh, son, if you only KNEW the added layer of complexity
      Drew: see the thing is
      Drew: you can need to pee SO DAMN MUCH that you are unable to get your foreskin completely down in time
      DK: Oh that is bullshit
      Drew: and the thing acts as a further nozzle, and we're talking about a wide angle arc
      DK: Apply CONTROL OH GOD
      DK: what are you
      Pikebot: That IS bullshit.
      DK: you are a beast of the field
      DK: what are you
      Drew: no look it's about 1/4 of a second worth of pee
      Drew: but that's enough to be problematic
      DK: Dude you gotta be IRONCLAD on this
      Drew: you don't have my goddamn foreskin
      Drew: it's a nightmare, I tell you
      Pikebot: What, is your foreskin some ALIEN PARISITE or something
      DK: I don't have ANY goddamn foreskin
      DK: But I believe that yours is, in fact, a nightmare
      Pikebot: Look my foreskn is prefectly intact and I have no idea wtf you're talking about
      DK: Also this is really disturbingly revealing who in here is circumcized/not
      Drew: look
      Drew: it makes things DIFFERENT ok
      DK: Yeah whatever dogpenis
      DK: DOGPENIS
      Drew: I'M AS GOD INTENDED
      Drew: YOU'RE MUTILATED
      DK: You're all red rocketing, pissing on the fucking walls, screaming and yodelling
      DK: You sicken me
      DK: You
      DK: sicken
      DK: me
      Drew: WELL I HOPE YOU ENJOY YOUR DIMINISHED SEXUAL PLEASURE
      DK: WHATEVER BUDDY, I HOPE YOU ENJOY YOUR SMEGMA
      Drew: I CAN WASH OFF MY SMEGMA, YOU CAN'T REGROW YOUR FORESKIN
      Ezelek: jesus you guys
      Ezelek: I cannot leave you alone for one second. one second.
      DK: EZZY ARE YOU CIRC'D
      * Myshu laughing, can't breathe
      Ezelek: This is not a subject I am going to divulge to you ever, dk. Ever.
      Drew: look I simply cannot imagine the horror of walking around with your goddamn glans out there, rubbing and chafing and ARGH
      DK: Man shit I'm not SANDPAPERING it
      DK: OH THIS COTTON
      DK: SO HARSH
      Drew: dude
      Drew: dude
      Drew: I once tried walking around one day rolled down, if you know what I'm sayin'
      Drew: and it was fucking torture
      Drew: I lasted 5 minutes
      DK: lmao
      DK: Well ain't you just a tenderfoot
      Pikebot: Well I think the reason there is because you aren't used to the constant exposure
      Drew: it's keritinisation
      Pikebot: DK's cock is DESENSITIZED
      Drew: yup
      DK: Pikabot please never say "DK's cock" again
      Myshu: Great, I've pissed myself to this conversation
      DK: (incidentally, this is the worst conversation I've ever HOLY SHIT)

    • 6 years ago

      Myshu chupariffic
    • Quote Log 26 (NeverSFW)

      6 years ago

      Myshu chupariffic

      Happy Change Your Calendar Day, everyone! Anyone going to be putting some cool shit on their wall this year?

      --- dead babies are fitting for new year's, right? I guess
      maggiekarp: Also I think one of my relatives had a baby that died inside her
      maggiekarp: and instead of carving it out they just kinda waited for it to come out
      Drew: ew
      Angahith: :(
      Drew: I'd want that sucker out
      Drew: humans aren't walking tombs
      maggiekarp: That's a mean name for a sterile chick
      maggiekarp: Or one prone to misscarriages or something
      maggiekarp: doesn't make so much sense when you think on it, though...
      Drew: Tomb Wombs?
      Drew: you want to know what doesn't make sense
      Drew: that something like 30 or 40% of pregnancies end in spontaneous abortion within the first 2 or 3 weeks!
      maggiekarp: Well, why do you think they're called MIRACLES?
      Drew: they aren't miracles
      Drew: they're just another mouth to stretch my paycheck more and more
      maggiekarp: YOU TOLD ME YOU WANTED THIS BABY DREW
      Drew: ONLY BECAUSE YOU WOULDN'T STOP CRYING ABOUT HOW YOUR FOSTER DAD WAS GONNA BEAT YOU LIKE A GONG WHEN HE FOUND OUT
      * Drew cancels his subscription to Rolling Stone and stops buying that fancy shaving cream he likes
      maggiekarp: WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO NOW SELL IT TO THE CIRCUS LIKE YOUR MOM DID
      Drew: IT'LL LEARN A TRADE
      Drew: Carnie Trade.

      --- inyourwhatdo
      Myshu: Why do I draw cute feet
      maggiekarp: Myshu, teach me to draw cute feet :o
      Myshu: Okay, but first you have to learn how to snatch the fly from my hand
      maggiekarp: fly my hand into your what now

      --- wrong song but close enough
      Kyril: there's an explicit version of Avril Lavigne's "Girlfriend"
      Kyril: bet it has like one mention of fuck and nothing else
      DK: HE WAS A SKATERBOI
      DK: HIS COCK WAS NO FUCKIN' TOY
      DK: IT WAS ABOUT SIX INCHES ACROSS
      DK: HE JAMMED IT DOWN HER THROAT/WHILE SINGIN' A SONG HE WROTE/AND IT BROKE HER FUCKIN' JAW

    • Yuletide Quote Log (NeverSFW)

      6 years ago

      Myshu chupariffic

      I'm writing from work this eve, which seems like a drag, but frankly I'd hardly want to be anywhere else. I've got a cozy shack to myself, some gentle rain outside, a box of cookies and enough internet access to go around. So cheers and happy holidays, everyone!

      --- good question
      Seris: i come back home and theres this memo on my keyboard
      Seris: it reads:
      Seris: "amanda called to ask-does vegeta ever cry during dbz--call back its very important"

      --- good answer
      bionicfen: man
      bionicfen: what's the difference between the pygmies and the women's track team?
      bionicfen: well
      bionicfen: y'see
      bionicfen: one is a group of cunning runts, and the other is a group of well y'know
      Drew: female athletes?
      DK: role models?
      Drew: women with better-than-average physical health and stamina?
      bionicfen: Screw you guys >:(
      Pipgirl: cunting runns?

      --- good eatin'
      * MK|kitchen is now known as MK|bakin
      Pipgirl`cocksucka: What're ye baken?
      MK|bakin: cookies!
      Pipgirl`cocksucka: cockies
      Pipgirl`cocksucka: :O
      MK|bakin: No pips I am not baking cocks today :(
      MK|bakin: One of these days Pips I'm gonna make you some penis-shaped sugar cookies
      Pipgirl`cocksucka: yey
      Pipgirl`cocksucka: I can eat cocks without eating cocks
      MK|bakin: and you'll get them in the mail and your mom will be all "Oh you got a package this is exciting let me see"
      MK|bakin: they'll be spring-loaded
      MK|bakin: cocks all in your mother's face
      MK|bakin: "aaaaaaaaaa"
      MK|bakin: "AAAAAAAAAAAA"
      MK|bakin: And then you'll have to finally explain the internet to her

      And thanks to everyone who adopted my little chupababies and shared the love across the site. You guys made my week. smiley12.gif
      Niriall even made a group for all you chupa folks.
      (Look out for a batch of Blood Gulch babies soon.)

    • 6 years ago

      Myshu chupariffic
    • Quote Log 24

      6 years ago

      Myshu chupariffic

      It's time to wrap up this week of work-related quotes. I hope everyone enjoyed it!

      ---
      Myshu: So today's pawn shop tale:
      Myshu: Two firetrucks came to the store today
      Myshu: One of the air conditioners tripped a breaker so hard it exploded, filling the closet with smoke and setting off the alarm
      Sancdar: nice
      Myshu: We stood in the dark while the neighboring FD snooped around, waiting for the FD from the CORRECT district to arrive
      Myshu: We can't just tell them "no fire guys, turn around"
      Myshu: So one of the fireguys is standing in the doorway when his radio goes off, and we hear the other fire department reporting:
      Myshu: "We can't find this (insert shop name), but we see an EZ Pawn across the street. We'll check there first."
      Myshu: me: "..."
      Myshu: "So they're going to our rival pawn shop to see if they're okay from our alarm going off, huh"
      Myshu: So I guess the moral is our store is old and explody, our alarm system calls the wrong city and our local fire department is made of tards

      --- i party all the time
      Seris: cz and i apparently work at iparty
      CZ: I work at Party Depot, bitch.
      Seris: it is retail so you are pretty much yes the stocking bitch
      DK: You can be the Baron/Baroness of Brief Backroom Blowjobs I guess
      CZ: OKAY. Long list of what I can do.
      CZ: Price. Stock shelves. Clean. Check in orders. Help customers. SHIT LOADS OF BALLOONS.
      CZ: During Halloween: Keep everything clean. Make sure no one goes into the changing room with more than one costume. STAND AROUND FOR EIGHT HOURS while people ask, "do you have this one specific dorothy costume not that one but this one particular one"
      DK: "You mean the one with the cutout crotch?"
      CZ: It's fun when people are trying to make shit because then I get to be creative.
      Seris: ahaha oh man did i tell you guys about the guy who came in and shat on our bathroom floor
      Myshu: y
      Seris: ok on that same day there was this old lady who came in looking for a 50s themed costume
      Seris: she needed it in an xl which i guess we dont have because we do not adheir to fatasses
      Myshu: adhere?
      DK: cater?
      Seris: ys thank you for correcting my idocy
      Myshu: idiocy? (okay I'll stop)
      DK: Myshu if you keep this up there will be NO MYSHUTREAT
      Myshu: :(
      DK: I like cater there because it also suggests food which fits with fatties
      Seris: ANYSHIT so like i am pointing her toward the costumes and she is like "a large wont fit around my stomach im fat you see"
      Seris: and im pointing to this one costume and am like "uughhhhh"
      Seris: then something happened i kind of blacked out i think but anyway NEXT THING I KNOW she lifts up her shirt to show me her stomach
      Seris: and shes like "SEE FAT"
      Myshu: Ugh
      Seris: and im like "....."
      Annie_Felis: I need to do that to people when I'm old and fat.
      Annie_Felis: Just walk down the street, and when people are pleasant to me and say hello, I'll go "SEE, FAT." and lift up my shirt.
      Seris: "BOY-YOI-YOI-YOI-YOING"
      DK: There's a Penthouse letter that starts the same way Seris

      --- showdown at the burger joint
      Myshu: Oh man, I have to tell you guys about this customer I got today
      Myshu: He pulled up to drive-thru in a dusty pickup truck, wearing a cowboy hat
      Myshu: He ordered the chicken strip meal, but wanted an extra strip added
      Myshu: We were disputing whether or not he got toast with such a meal when he put us in our place
      Myshu: "It's a three-strip meal plus a strip, not a four-strip meal, so I get a toast. You can't fool a cowboy; many have tried."
      Drew: hahahaha
      Myshu: So I said yes sir and gave the man his toast.
      Myshu: I guess he earned it.
      Drew: you'll always remember this day as the day you failed to fool a cowboy, Myshu
      Myshu: Yeah, shame on me.
      Seris: by a toast do you mean like a formal speech you address to the public or like a slice of bread
      Myshu: Actually, Seris, to make the picture complete
      Myshu: It was TEXAS TOAST

      --- time lapse
      K-chan: Stupid people walk among us.
      K-chan: A guy calls up some customer service thing, and asks what the hours were.
      K-chan: The customer service guy told him they were 24/7
      K-chan: And the guy asked, "Is that eastern or pacific?"

      ---
      Myshu: So at work yesterday, a woman my coworkers call "that lesbian" tried to pawn a shop vac filled with cat litter
      Myshu: I found the cat litter after turning it on and having a plume of dust fill the store with the fine aroma of pet shit
      DK: Myshu that's an appallingly disgusting story
      DK: Are you ashamed
      Myshu: Not enough

    • Quote Log 23

      6 years ago

      Myshu chupariffic

      ---
      Myshu: So first thing today at work a customer tried to pawn a loaded Smith & Wesson .45
      Myshu: Perhaps not the best thing to present to my suicidally depressed, disgruntled boss at nine in the morning on a Friday

      ---
      Myshu: I sometimes wonder if the poverty and crime in my area has reached such a desperate level that nobody's even trying to be coy about it anymore
      Myshu: Because this guy comes in today trying to pawn his "GPS man, y'know, for the car"
      Myshu: And my boss looks squarely at it and says, "This isn't a GPS. It's a radar detector."
      Myshu: So the dude just scoops it back up and storms out in a huff, saying loudly enough for all to hear,
      Myshu: "Man, guys don't even know what they stole!"

      ---
      Myshu: So at work for some reason we keep displaying expensive handheld electronics in a low glass case with no door on the back
      Myshu: So surprise! Another mook reached over the counter and stole a Nintendo DS today
      Myshu: One of the managers was in a huff, he called the pawn shop across the street
      Myshu: "Hey if you see a DS Lite that looks like (blah blah) could you stop the guy? He stole it from us"
      Myshu: "Oh yeah a guy just came in holding one of those"
      Myshu: "REALLY? Is he still there?"
      Myshu: "No we kicked him out because he's banned from the store for stealing"
      Myshu: "..."
      Mozz: oh, the irony.
      Myshu: The manager takes some dumb solace in the fact that right before his blatant on-camera theft he PAWNED a shitty XBox 360 game, so we have all his drivers license info
      Myshu: "Dumbass gave us his ID before he left!"
      Myshu: me: "If he's so dumb why did he walk out with a DS while we have a shitty XBox football game?"
      Myshu: "...Go back to work"
      papa_november: hope you wrote down the serial number
      papa_november: (you do this with all systems right)
      Myshu: Yeah of course, we take down model and serial numbers for absolutely everything
      Myshu: We even list banal shit like "a small tear on the corner; cat hair in the buttons"
      Myshu: "oh god is that a pube"

      ---
      Myshu: Cops swarmed our store today, by the way
      Myshu: Well, "swarmed"
      Myshu: There were two, but they kept lingering
      Myshu: It only got funny when one of them self-consciously remarked, "Looks like we scared away all your customers--there's nobody else in here!"
      Mozz: it's funny, myshu, because it's mostly true ! :D
      Myshu: It totally fuckin' was
      Mozz: 5-0 showing up is bad for Pawning business
      Hermit: shu were they trying to shake you down for protection money or what
      Myshu: No, they were on a case, but it was kinda fucked up
      Sancdar: the case of the stolen radar detector

    • Quote Log 22

      6 years ago

      Myshu chupariffic

      --- pawne shoppe
      Myshu: So, at work today
      Myshu: Two huge nerds came into the store
      Myshu: And I mean "huge" in both senses
      Myshu: The saner one was wearing a black and purple dragon shirt
      Myshu: The hopeless one was trying to pawn a bunch of crappy knives and useless calculators, AND
      Myshu: A Master Sword.
      DK: lmao
      Myshu: Now,
      Myshu: He was almost bragging about how much he payed for it off "the internet" ($50)
      Myshu: as with most cosplay props or video game replicas or whatever
      Myshu: You don't realize how totally unrealistic, badly color-coordinated, impractical or downright fucktarded an anime or video game weapon looks until you see attempts to make it REALITY
      Arkstar: oh man
      Mozz: (exhibit A: the gunblade)
      Arkstar: (hey, I've seen sleek lookin gunblades)
      Myshu: My manager tried not to laugh as soon as he saw a sheathed sword on the counter with a BRIGHT BLUE plasticy-looking handle
      McNally: Oh, those fucking things.
      McNally: I've seen pretty sweet Master Swords that had hilts that were a more subdued shade of blue that looked fucking awesome
      Myshu: Anyway the blade WAS stainless steel, not really perfect, but it did have the triforce engraving
      Myshu: My boss is like "tenbux"
      Myshu: "aw man at least twenty?"
      Myshu: We don't really take in a lot of specialty stuff, and this looked crazy enough, so "no man, tenbux"
      Myshu: He shrugged and moseyed over to the rack where we keep swords for sale
      Myshu: And started admiring shit I knew came out of some of the fantasy merch mags my mom used to order "DUDE that's a (super sword of dark blah blah fuck if I remember the name) it's in such good condition man that's awesome" *nasally snort over the fine edge of the blade*
      Myshu: Anyway while we wait for him to shuffle off I engage in basic Zelda chit-chat
      Myshu: "Oh yeah that Zelda yeah funtimes hey man look at the time we're closing soon"
      Myshu: But he insists on showing us one more thing--me in particular, since I mentioned I'd played Zelda
      Mozz: ooops
      Mozz: classic mistake, now he thinks you are a kindred spirit and he will APPROACH you, Myshu
      DK: a Zeldanerd approaches
      McNally: Did he show you his "ocarina," Myshu?
      McNally: Did he invite you to "play" his "ocarina," Myshu?
      Hermit: boomerangboomerangboomerangboomerang
      Myshu: We go out to his car
      Myshu: And he UNSHEATHS his SECRET SWORD
      DK: BIGGORN'S SWORD
      Myshu: (not his dick okay)
      Hermit: aw
      Myshu: It was ANOTHER Master Sword
      Pipgirl: holy shit TWO?
      McNally: A SHITTIER Master Sword.
      Myshu: Nay, it was actually MUCH IMPROVED over the one he tried to pawn
      Myshu: Much less retarded-looking, and the sheath was very nice with gold leaf
      Myshu: (triforce engraving and everything etc)
      Hermit: he's saving that one for when the Redeads take over
      Hermit: and when everyone else is slaughtered by shrieking, earhumping zombies, he will stand alone
      Myshu: Anyway boss is like "fifteen bux" and the dude's all "aww, nevermind. Couldn't part with it anyway!"
      DK: lmao that's awesome somehow
      DK: "fifteen"
      Mozz: did he at any point say "it's dangerous to go alone, take this?"
      Mozz: (if i ever meet a girl again who admits to zelda nerdery, and i want to give her my number, i may just say that myself)
      Myshu: I admit I admired the blade more than I should've, more for the novelty than anything
      Myshu: I mean how often am I gonna see the MASTER SWORD in a pawn shop?
      McNally: You were awed, Myshu.
      McNally: "Wow, some guy actually paid money for this."
      Myshu: I was tempted to buy it myself (tenbux)
      Myshu: But that's against store policy anyway
      DK: Oh you can't even buy the shit from the store?
      DK: That's pretty weak man
      DK: That's like perk number one any other place
      Myshu: I CAN buy shit from the store, DK
      Myshu: I CAN'T buy shit from customers
      DK: Oh yeah, I guess there is the issue of markup
      DK: NEXT DAY
      DK: MASTER SWORD FROM "DELZA" - $50

    • 6 years ago

      Myshu chupariffic
    • 6 years ago

      Myshu chupariffic
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