It's always been weird to me how easy it is for my roommate to play with his friends online every night, but for me it's near impossible. It's not like I don't have friends that want to play. I have quite a few in fact. I want to play sometimes but maybe it's something I got from my childhood.
My brothers would always play Halo 2 online all the time. To the point that they would just do stupid glitch stuff like the super jumps. However, everytime I wanted to be apart of thee fun I always felt out of place. Sometimes they'd make a joke at me, just something simple that I'm more than sure I've said to them on occasion now a days. But at the time I took it personally.
Now, whenever I do get into an online party, I always have some anxiety that I'll let my team down or I won't connect that well with everyone, so I really just don't say anything. Even when i do fuck something up.I just feel embarrassed and hide away in my single player games.
Maybe I just haven't met the right group of people yet. Whatever the case, I really do want to play all the fun multiplayer games, like Overwatch, GTA 5, Minecraft, Jackbox Party, etc. I just need some friends to have fun and joke with to do it. Otherwise, it gets pretty lonely.