• Activity

    • sailboat with no rudder

      6 years ago

      Albin0_Rhino

      So it's been five days since I stopped taking the hormones and my body is just now starting to show signs of getting back to normal. I wish I could be happy about this, but it's extremely bittersweet. My energy level seems to be coming back as well but it's been hard to tell since I drowned myself in vodka for several days straight.

      With everything that has happened over the past few months, I feel like a sailboat floating in the ocean with sails unfurled but no rudder. I don't know what to do. Someone hit me over the head, spun me around turned the lights off and locked me in the basement. My parents, while trying to be sympathetic still have no clue as to how hard this is.

      Not being flippant at all about current events, but as I read about today's situation in Boston, one of the thoughts I couldn't shake was "Why them? I have nothing left, why doesn't someone with that much hate blow me up? I know that people would be upset if I got blown up, but those people were active and doing something, I'm just here. I don't have much to live for since it feels like the floor has fallen out from underneath me." It sounds sick and suicidal, but seriously, I have nothing to give right now. I am just taking up space,

      next time someone wants to blow some innocent people up, call me, I'll happily take their place.

    • 6 years ago

      Albin0_Rhino
    • RIP My hopes for the future 2/22/13-4/10/13

      6 years ago

      Albin0_Rhino

      First, I would like to say thank you to all of my friends here who have shown me so much love and support over the years. It has really meant a lot to me and I can't thank everyone enough. That being said, I always knew it would be a possibility, but I didn't want to ever have to write this journal, but I needed to let everyone who has cared, that my hopes were officially dashed this week. My pancreas has decided that it isn't done fucking me over. Since beginning my treatment in February, my diabetes has been as impossible to accurately predict as the weather. My blood sugar soars up without reason, my insulin sometimes takes five minutes to act, and other times takes four hours. This hasn't been fun. Coupled with the other problem of having been completely drained of energy, the erratic changes have been downright painful. So I was faced with the decision. Either continue the treatment and hope that I don't accidentally kill myself with my insulin, or stop the treatment and say goodbye to a part of myself that I was finally getting my world to accept. I feel foolish. I feel heartbroken. I feel like my body has failed me once again.

      I can't explain how this feels. But at the moment, I pretty much hate everything and have had a hard time being around other people or even talking to people.

      Fuck you pancreas...

    • this is a journal

      6 years ago

      Albin0_Rhino

      I have been trying to write something important for the past two days but the words don't fit right in my head yet, so I promise that this weekend I'll have a more thorough journal, but in the meantime, I'll say that Assassin's Creed III was one of the biggest letdowns in a game I have seen in a while. Seriously, I can't give a shit about that universe at all any more. AC4 seems to address my issue of
      "jumping the shark" by actually making it possible to jump a shark, since you're a pirate, but, I'm still completely disappointed.

    • Hi

      6 years ago

      Albin0_Rhino

      So, I just wanted to let everyone know that I will be slowly be stopping my journals here. I love you guys, but this place doesn't feel right any more. I love you guys and I thank you for the amazing support. If you want to keep in touch, I am still on facebook, and flickr and stuff.

    • 6 years ago

      Albin0_Rhino
    • Official Guide

      in Forums > Official Guide | Follow this topic

      Albin0_Rhino

      Overview:
      -Estimated Achievement Difficulty: --
      -Offline: -- (-- points)
      -Online: -- (-- points)
      -Approximate time to 1000: -- hours
      -Minimum number of playthroughs needed: --
      -Number of missable achievements: --
      -Glitched achievements: --
      -Do cheat codes disable achievements? --
      -Does difficulty affect achievements? --

      1 reply

    • I need honest input

      6 years ago

      Albin0_Rhino

      I'm being completely serious asking about input on this. Would you go to a website that didn't offer reviews but rather opinion pieces on whether or not to buy a game. I'll be honest, I seek out game reviews before buying games, and I've not always listened and sometimes, I have been surprised. I have played a lot of games. Some good, some not so much, but I've always tried to have fun, because that's the point, and I feel a lot of review sites ignore that. Is this something that anyone would look at, or am I the only one?

    • random

      6 years ago

      Albin0_Rhino

      Damn, stomping on stuff in Dead Space 3 is strangely satisfying... take that life, I'm stomping the poop out of you... Kablooey. smiley0.gif

    • so it's a monday

      6 years ago

      Albin0_Rhino

      I just thought I'd give anyone who is interested a short update. I got my continuous glucose monitor on Friday and it has been attached to me ever since, it's strange being tethered, even wirelessly, to a device. It hasn't been too uncomfortable though. I think I'll survive. I also started hormones on Friday, so 2/22 is going to be an easy date to remember. So far, haven't noticed anything different at all, I'm just happy to be moving in the right direction.

      That is all.

  • Comments (439)

    • BioHRay FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      6 years ago

      Regardless, we'll find time for that beer

    • BioHRay FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      6 years ago

      Oh cool maybe you can show off the sights for the 4th :)

    • BioHRay FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      6 years ago

      Ya. I think this kinda got lost with the new layout. :(

      What days are you planning on being down there? Looks like I'll be there 3rd-8th

    • BioHRay FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      6 years ago

      Ah, the lost art of the comment section...

      anyway, I should be fine for money and everything for RTX so no need to make a kick starter or anything :P and yes, I'm totally buying you a beer when we're there

    • williams FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      7 years ago

      Yes!!! was awesome to talk with you and stagger through the drink line together. Next year we'll leave more time for drinks.

    • BioHRay FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      7 years ago

      Ya, I know... He went way off the wall with his commentary. I tried several time to bring it back on track but to no avail. Definitely a train wreck

    • ozymandias6

      7 years ago

      I LOVE YOU!!!!! smiley12.gif

      • ozymandias6

        7 years ago

        WOOHOOO! I think this time we need to shake it up and be more social lol

      • Albin0_Rhino

        7 years ago

        I love ya too baby. smiley0.gif Looking forward to seeing you in July.

    • Nand

      7 years ago

      Cool dude, thanks for the feedback. Yeah I knew I was dragging but I felt that, since it was my first Vlog and essentially first chance for my YouTube subscribers to get to know a little more about me, I just winged it and kept going until I ran out of stuff to say. My main goal was to paint a clear picture as to why I haven't been uploading many videos lately, but I may have painted too clear of a picture smiley0.gif . Oh well, I'll keep them shorter in the future if I do do them again.

    • phoenix229

      7 years ago

      YAAAAAAY!!! THANK YOU! smiley12.gifsmiley13.gifsmiley12.gifsmiley13.gifsmiley12.gifsmiley13.gifsmiley12.gifsmiley0.gif

    • phoenix229

      7 years ago

      Also, you can totally be Uncle Brian to my kids!

    • phoenix229

      7 years ago

      Eeeeeeeee!!! How exciting!

    • mama FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      7 years ago

      Getting in late on the 22nd. Call me on Fri. Maybe we can get together for a quick drink that night if you're still in town?

    • mama FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      7 years ago

      I empathize about the school thing. I want to go back but I only want to take classes I enjoy. I have no desire to get a degree. I just want to learn the things that interest me. Like not math or science things.

    • BioHRay FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      7 years ago

      Ya, thanks... but that's life. Just got to do the best we can

    • BioHRay FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      7 years ago

      They don't eat it, they claw through it

    • BioHRay FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      7 years ago

      Any time!

    • BioHRay FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      7 years ago

      Oh, got ya. I do it over skype and have the other person record their own audio locally. Then they transfer it to me over skype.

      Is that what you were looking for?

    • BioHRay FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      7 years ago

      I I use Audacity for all my coms

    • phoenix229

      7 years ago

      And thank you too!! You are amazing and I love you!

    • BioHRay FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      7 years ago

      We're all freaks in someway or another smiley8.gif
      Happy Thanksgiving

    • mama FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      7 years ago

      You're a sweetheart Brian. Happy Thanksgiving.

    • Mike FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Feed Me Memes

      7 years ago

      You're welcome...?

    • phoenix229

      7 years ago

      But! But! But! We'll have second dinners?! Later just for you!

    • BioHRay FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      7 years ago

      I should also ask, what's wrong with the XSplit?

    • BioHRay FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      7 years ago

      I don't watch TV, so I haven't seen it... Also, cool!

    • BioHRay FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      7 years ago

      I don't doubt it. Also I know you can't talk about it. Guess I'll see soon 'nuff

    • phoenix229

      7 years ago

      Then you'll have two!

    • phoenix229

      7 years ago

      HELL YES!

    • phoenix229

      7 years ago

      I fat fingered it



      Naughty.

    • phoenix229

      7 years ago

      1311039281603_320022.png

      Post edited 10/28/11 1:12PM

    • TheNamek

      7 years ago

      Hey man! Join the Joel and Geoff Group

      roosterteeth.com/groups/profile.php?id=13274

    • phoenix229

      7 years ago

      I'm totally going to make out with you now!

    • phoenix229

      7 years ago

      That makes sense to me. The part that wants to be completely open totally wants him to snoop.

    • phoenix229

      7 years ago

      If I get another one, I will. FUZZYYYYYYYYY

    • phoenix229

      7 years ago

      I wonder if he thought I clicked "deny" on accident?

    • phoenix229

      7 years ago

      I DON'T WANT TO BE HIS FRIIIIEEEEEEEND!!

    • phoenix229

      7 years ago

      ZOMG I KNOW YOU!!!

    • ozymandias6

      7 years ago

      Congrats to being the featured user!

    • phoenix229

      7 years ago

      I DOOOOOOOOO

    • Nand

      7 years ago

      Legends of the Wasteland YES!

    • Echelea67

      7 years ago

      Thanks so much smiley0.gif Glad you like them.

    • BioHRay FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      7 years ago

      Sorry I had to leave right when you joined us last night. Had to get to bed. Hope we get a chance to play this weekend

    • mama FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      7 years ago

      Well, I'll only have Sat night because all day Sat is MILLIE day so I'll have to see what is going on with G and G. Of ccourse, if you want you can come see me at the airport on Sunday morning. My flight out is at like 10:25.

    • Echelea67

      7 years ago

      I'll begin then, I guess smiley0.gif Then just copy? smiley8.gif

      Well, I'm 19 years old with no idea of what I want in life but a general idea. Obsessed with Vampire Diaries, Ghost Adventures, working out, zombie video games smiley12.gifsmiley12.gif , and sushi! smiley7.gif Can speak Italian and Japanese, love friends and new people and traveling. Sometimes get over curious and annoying. I have my nursing license and live in boring Ohio, but soon moving to Texas :D It's exciting because I can go to RTX events!

    • Echelea67

      7 years ago

      You're quite a charmer.
      Whatever you wish to tell that I wouldn't gather from your profile :D

    • Echelea67

      7 years ago

      So tell me about yourself? smiley6.gif

    • Echelea67

      7 years ago

      I look at profiles sometimes to see what the person is all about, see if they'd be someone fun to talk to.

    • Echelea67

      7 years ago

      Thank you for accepting smiley0.gifsmiley6.gif

    • Trainrek

      7 years ago

      No worries mate! S'all good!

      Glad I was able to jog your memory!

    • Trainrek

      7 years ago

      MORE Bronies???

      NonoNOOO my friend, this is not MOAR!!!

      This is the ORIGIN of this particular meme reboot.

      Everyone on the weberverse is either pissed off, jealous, or simply unaware Seth Green beat them to the punch several years ago.

      Seriously, this ep of RC aired long before the new MLP series started on the CW or wtf Warner is calling their TV station now.

  • Questions

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