Myshu FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold chupariffic

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from Orange, TX

  • Activity

    • Quote Log 21

      6 years ago

      Myshu chupariffic

      ---
      Myshu: I do have a Pawne Shoppe Tale today
      Myshu: An older woman and a small child enter the store
      Myshu: The girl is like 4 or 5, I'd guess
      Myshu: I wasn't attending them, just standing nearby
      Myshu: The girl tries to get the older woman's attention by grabbing her tank top by the bust and dragging her boobs down
      Myshu: Which was funny, but that's not the point
      Myshu: The girl utters something lost to me and the woman starts on a merry tirade:
      Myshu: "No, I'm not Mommy. Your mommy's not here. Your mommy won't be here for the next month. And where is mommy?" she prompts, like a schoolmarm asking her to recite the alphabet or something
      Myshu: And the girl cheerfully responds, "In jail!"
      maggiekarp: d'awwww
      Hermit: the darndest things
      Myshu: Thus dismissed, the girl begins to skip around the store, singing
      Myshu: (I shit you not)
      Myshu: "Bow chicka-bow wow"
      Mozz: HAHAHAHA
      Myshu: Over and over
      Mozz: that girl is so ending up on the pole.
      Myshu: "I don't know where she got that," the woman asserts
      Mozz: yeah whatever lady
      Myshu: "But it's okay, she doesn't know anything dirty"
      Mozz: Auntie Hoochia
      maggiekarp: alvin and the chipmunks movie had that in its commerical

      ---
      Myshu: I almost killed myself on a floor buffer
      McNally: A floor buffer, Myshu?
      McNally: Army basic training is rife with weapons-grade stupid, and not a one of us even got HURT with the floor buffer.
      McNally: Not even when we got bored, plugged one in, stood on top of it, and turned it on.
      Myshu: Look man, that's what happened
      Myshu: But I bet none of the tards at basic weighed less than 100 lbs
      Myshu: Because I FLEW off that fucker
      Myshu: Cord coiling around me like an electric anaconda
      McNally: Oh.
      McNally: Well, that i can totally see.
      McNally: I didn't take the fact that you weigh as much as my ruck into account.
      Myshu: The worst part was that it was my manager's idea--he plugged it in for me
      Arkstar: hahahaha
      Myshu: He helps untangle me, I catch my breath and gunguy looks across the store at me:
      Myshu: gunguy: "Rachal?"
      Myshu: me: "...Yeah?"
      Myshu: gunguy: *shakes head* "No."
      Myshu: Very firm, like scolding a puppy

    • Quote Log 20 (NeverSFW)

      6 years ago

      Myshu chupariffic

      --- we need a biohazard sign on the front door (warning: gross)
      Myshu: my boss actually has worse stories
      Myshu: I'LL TELL ONE NOW
      Myshu: Once upon a time my boss worked at a pawnshoppe where a crazy bag lady was a regular customer
      Drew: I rate bag ladies by pussy.
      Drew: that is to say how much they reek of cat piss
      BahamutChris: ...
      Myshu: Anyway the bag lady was a regular ornery bitch, smelly and dirty and bitchy
      Myshu: And crazy as piss
      Myshu: Which she demonstrated in her finest act upon the store:
      Myshu: She went to the public toilet and smeared her bloody MENES all over the WALLS
      BahamutChris: ... ... ...
      * Drew cheers
      Drew: look
      Drew: haven't we all wished we could do that at some point in our lives?
      Myshu: There's another lady like that, a total senile case
      Myshu: Stood in the middle of the doorway and pissed herself while opening and closing her toothless maw like a starving fish
      Myshu: Then she gets in her car and DRIVES away
      Myshu: They give these people drivers licenses
      BahamutChris: It is amazing
      Myshu: The weirdest, though, was this fat white chick
      Myshu: I only heard half the story, but it was enough--I'm not sure if this woman was crazy or really pissed off or what
      Myshu: Anyway she was with her man and his truck, which was parked parallel to the storefront, a little ways off
      Myshu: So you had to look out the window sideways to see it
      Myshu: And for whatever reason, my boss did, and what he saw
      Myshu: Was this big. white... ass emerging from the bed of the truck, like a lunar eclipse
      Myshu: And then a titanic SPRAY onto the parking lot, from the ass
      Drew: ...........
      Belle: ....That's amazing
      Myshu: And I wish like hell I knew the context, but I don't
      Belle: There must've been hundreds of pounds of pressure in that projectile wet fart
      Myshu: The majority was piss, actually
      Myshu: I'm assured there was some #2 on the side

    • Quote Log 19

      6 years ago

      Myshu chupariffic

      Brought to you by the pawn shop:

      --- pawne shoppe
      Myshu: These two kids were trying to buy the cheapest XBox game we had
      Myshu: And their mom was walking out the door, yelling after them, so they hurried with the money part of the exchange
      Myshu: And maybe I should back up a minute, because before even this happened, one of the boys
      Myshu: Demonstrated how much he hates his cousin by putting him into a headlock until he passed out on our floor
      Drew: wow
      Drew: that kid sounds like a caring and sharing young man
      Myshu: The cousin got right back up and nodded affirmatively after my coworker asked if they got along well
      Drew: ($20 says he will grow up to be a date rapist)
      Myshu: Anyway they're paying for the game
      Myshu: And he accidentally gives me one dollar too many
      Myshu: Then starts bolting out with his cousin
      Myshu: I was having one of many bad cases of honesty, so I tried to catch him to give the extra dollar back
      Myshu: Except it would have probably come out better if I had yelled "hey wait come back" instead of "HEY. DUMBASS!"
      Drew: hahahaha
      Drew: customer satisfaction
      Drew: guaranteed
      Myshu: The kid didn't even flinch, though, it's like he didn't hear. He took the money and ran
      Myshu: The customer I yelled right in front of did, though
      Myshu: He laughed so awkwardly
      Myshu: "Nice customer service," gunguy congratulated me
      Myshu: Fortunately the boss was on the can
      Drew: it's a kid
      Drew: kids don't deserve good customer service
      Drew: they deserve to get the fuck off my lawn
      Mozz: DAMN RIGHT.
      Myshu: That's actually what I said in my defense
      Batajitsu: lucky the mother didn't hear as well
      Mozz: oh fuck the mother too
      Drew: women don't deserve customer service either
      Myshu: haha
      Drew: nor do indigents, negroes or the mentally deficient
      Mozz: Drew, let's be Hatred-Buddies~!
      Drew: FUCK YOU I HATE YOU

    • Quote Log 18

      6 years ago

      Myshu chupariffic

      So one of my partners-in-crime, Nero, is about to start his new job. (You might know him as the guy who helps me color some dumb comic.)

      To celebrate, this week's selection of chat logs come from the few, the proud, the shamefully employed:

      --- call center
      PikeBot: Man DK isn't here
      PikeBot: I want him to be here so I can blame him for the actions of all arkasans.
      Myshu: Wha'd they do today?
      BahamutChris: Did they bite Canada
      PikeBot: The third call of the day or so today was a fellw by the name of Jerry Armstrong.
      PikeBot: I never checked his address, but there was ARKANSAS dripping off every syllable.
      PikeBot: This first thing he asks for is the number for Joe Jackson, who is the VP in charge of customer service or something.
      PikeBot: The SECOND thing he asks for, upon being told that I don't have that information, is the number of Bill Mannix, the CEO.
      PikeBot: I tell him I don't have that number either.
      PikeBot: Him: Do you mean you don't have it, or that you won't give it to me
      PikeBot: Me: No, sir, I literally do not have that information.
      PikeBot: Him: Ah would like to speak to yer supervisor
      PikeBot: Me: OK, sir, I'd be happy to connect you to my-
      PikeBot: I seriously don't have those numbers, BTW. I don't have any contact information that does not lead to a different area of customer service
      PikeBot: Him: *Incoherent garbling*
      PikeBot: Me: I beg your pardon, sir?
      PikeBot: Him: (AND I SWEAR TO GOD THAT THESE ARE HIS EXACT WORDS) Y'ALL THINK YOU'RE THE ALPHA FEMALE GODS, AND I AM SICK OF IT
      PikeBot: Me:...
      BahamutChris: ... ... ...
      Annie_Felis: ....
      PikeBot: I'm...I'm not sure how to respond to that.
      Myshu: Well. I love customer service.
      PikeBot: He takes my silence as an oppurtunity to attack.
      PikeBot: Meanwhile, I'm sitting there, assuming that I heard 'alpha female' wrong or at least that it came out of him mouth wrong, but NO as he REPEATS IT
      PikeBot: Him: Ah have been given the runaround all day and I am sick you acting like the ALPHA FEMALE GODS.
      PikeBot: Him: You are NOT the alpha females, and you are NOT GODS
      Myshu: Man, was his TV set to Xena:Warrior Princess or what
      PikeBot: Me(resisting the strong urge to point out that he is at the very least mixing his metaphors): Alright, sir, But in order to transfer you to my supervisor I need to have your account open, so could you please-
      PikeBot: Him: Armstrong.
      PikeBot: Me: (OooooohKaaaaaay, I DO need that information, but it's not what I was going to ask for) Could I have the last four of your social security-
      PikeBot: Him: you may not
      PikeBot: Me:(alright, I can open up his account with zip and last name. Not supposed to, but we CAN, and it'll get him out of my hair quicker) Can I have your zip code please?
      PikeBot: Him: *gives me his zip code, sulkily*
      PikeBot: At this point my Supervisor, whose desk is opposite mine and can hear every word: Oh god, it's Jerry Armstrong, isn't it. His last four are *last four*
      Annie_Felis: Apparently Jerry is popular where you work!
      PikeBot: So I bring up his account, but he's launched into another tirade.
      PikeBot: Him: Y'all thing you're the all-important alpha female gods, but you're just a bunch of jumped up *something* who've watched too much TV WITH PARIS HILTON
      Annie_Felis: I love it when dumb people try to sound intelligent and snarky.
      PikeBot: Me: OK sir, I've got your account up here. Jerry Armstrong, correct?
      PikeBot: Him: YES
      PikeBot: Me: Alright, I'll just put you on hold for a moment, and transfer you to my supervisor.
      PikeBot: I place him on hold, dial my supervisor.
      Myshu: I'm sure he was thrilled.
      PikeBot: Sup.: Hey, peter.
      PikeBot: Me: Do you even need this guy's account number?
      PikeBot: Sup.: No, I've still got his account open from last time. Send him through.
      PikeBot: This dude called us THREE TIMES in a row.
      PikeBot: Four, actually, but he got a different center the other time.
      PikeBot: He literally called RIGHT BACK after the first one, and got me.
      PikeBot: He then called RIGHT BACK, and got poor Zach.
      PikeBot: Must be a full moon.
      PikeBot: I've got the incident number for the account note written down for posterity, this shit is hilarious.
      Myshu: So what happened, man?
      PikeBot: Oh, he blustered for about twenty minutes at poor Alex(my supervisor), was informed that the answer is exactly the same as it was the last time he called in, and then he hung up.
      BahamutChris: But what was the question? Or you never even found out?
      PikeBot: I don't even know.
      PikeBot: he never said.
      Myshu: That's rather anticlimactic.
      Annie_Felis: So okay, he calls up for help at a Customer Service center, but doesn't say what's wrong.
      Annie_Felis: Instead he just screams his fool head off at people.
      Donraj: Presumably he was tired of being ignored by the alpha female goddesses that head the company
      PikeBot: I checked his note history for lulz, he had yelled and screamed so much that a member of the Executive Escalation Team(meaning WAY high-ups) took care of all his processing herself.
      Donraj: Man
      Donraj: I wish I could yell and scream my way up to the top of the company when I had problems
      Myshu: You could've at least ended that story with a car bomb.
      Myshu: "And then redneck terrorists struck the parking lot in chauvinistic vengeance"

    • Don't you hate it...

      6 years ago

      Myshu chupariffic

      ...when the right thing to do just won't line up with what you want to do? You can keep telling yourself it's your life and you should do what you want with it, but in your heart you know that's a load of horse shit. Can't run from all your problems without leaving your soul behind--can't abandon your family, no matter what's happened in the past.

      And maybe it won't be as terrible as before.
      ...Gonna miss Texas like crazy, though.

      But let's not leave this journal on a bummer note. Anybody miss some quote logs?

      ---
      DK: So guys can Sonic be rehabilitated or should they just kill him
      bionicfen: kill
      bionicfen: him
      bionicfen: head
      DK: God knows Tails has given him enough head that if it could kill him, it would
      GameQuoter: Does he even at least reciprocate to him?
      GameQuoter: I mean you KNOW Tails has two dicks also
      GameQuoter: so he's got twice the problem
      DK: No, Sonic's very selfish.
      DK: The only saving grace for Tails is that he really is the fastest thing alive.
      DK: It's basically like taking one pull off a milkshake and then Sonic is quiescent for at least an hour
      maggiekarp: apparently the comic is decent now
      maggiekarp: but that's just because they drop 4chan references and the like
      DK: See I don't consider "4chan references" and "decent" to be in the same universe really
      DK: Also the comic, I daresay
      DK: Is the PROBLEM
      DK: also Sonic SATAM or whatever
      maggiekarp: apparently they're killing off characters left and right
      DK: But my thing is, Sonic doesn't need a backstory. He doesn't need a cast. It would be like...
      DK: It would be like after Mario Three, they added like fifty new characters and they all had tits and the subtext was when mario was gonna batter one up with his plumber's snake
      GameQuoter: Only cast he really needed with Eggman
      DK: I'm an Orthodox Sonic fan, I do not believe in this EGGMAN nonsense
      DK: Fuck you Japan, that name is christing shit
      maggiekarp: what about Waluigi DK
      DK: Fuck that son of a bitch, Waluigi is fucking retarded as hell.
      DK: It doesn't even make SENSE
      DK: Wario is a pun on BAD MARIO and a W is an M upside down
      DK: Waluigi just has this fucking upside down L for no reason and these fucking genie shoes.
      papa_november: has anyone in history ever been named wario
      maggiekarp: Sephiroth Wario Jones-Waller
      DK: He's a goddamn lousy redundant pointless son of a bitch, now if you want to make a Sonic analogy imagine there's twenty of him and half of them have tits.

      (Won't be buying myself a new computer this year; gotta save up for something... well, something. Got my index finger pretty well trained to this nub where the space bar used to be, at least.)

    • R.I.P. e-machine

      6 years ago

      Myshu chupariffic

      Well, crap.

      Just marking this day; another computer bites the dust. Second PC I've seen to the grave this year. Poor old thing died on the table (desk?), as it were, although I admit I wasn't fighting too hard to save it. It was my brother-in-law's before I inherited it this summer, and he bought the thing back in 2004.

      Maybe I should buy a new computer, for once in my life.

      In the meantime! No major data loss, so falling back on my laptop (also pre-owned, bought from the pawn shop) with the broken spacebar. Hurrah.

    • Partay

      6 years ago

      Myshu chupariffic

      Little Honda Civics are freaking awesome on gas. Mine just made a 4+ hour trip last night on a little under a full tank, and still had enough juice to make my half-hour morning commute to work.
      Need to give the poor thing a tune-up sometime, though. Comin' right up on 150,000 miles.

      TWO HOURS OF SLEEP IS GOOD ENOUGH TO WORK ON, RIGHT? Right? Blarg.
      No regrets. Have slept less for lamer things. Last night was pretty freaking great.

      Bumped into madmanmoe again. Texas is a small state, after all (or it's just that we met in a very likely locale.) Had fun times, did irresponsible things with pizza, scored good loot.

      HEY MOE

      MOE

      HEY

      *brofist*

      ALSO

      ~nyan~

      There, I broke you in. You're welcome.

      (Holy crap I'm high on insomnia. Quick, need another one of those chicks wheeling around buckets of Monster drinks.)

    • No Spoilers Here

      6 years ago

      Myshu chupariffic

      How 'bout that season 9 finale coming up?
      Having watched it already makes me a spectator on a whole new level, since now I'm almost more interested in the reactions around the site than I am in the actual show. ...Well, almost. Man, there's gonna be so much fallout from tonight's episode I'm not sure I wanna stick around, catch any'a that ionizing nerdrage.

      But don't get me wrong; I loved it, myself. Something finally happened that really, really needed to happen--something I feel pretty strongly about, but haven't mentioned here before because I don't like rocking boats. At any rate, I get the feeling not everyone's going to be as satisfied with the finale as I am.

      I'll talk about it more later, if I feel like it, but to keep this journal from being completely vague and pointless, how 'bout some quotes?

      --- Never, ever SFW, I swear
      DK: So I had a dream
      DK: Not about black kids and white kids playing together though
      DK: But I dreamed.... well I don't remember most of it, but I think it was about a haunted house
      DK: I just remember the end
      DK: Which was like this car salesman guy strolling into a furniture store called FAMILY CIRCUS furniture
      DK: Because it was family owned and operated
      DK: And he rolled up to this attractive woman in there, in her twenties or so, and delivered the most insane and terrifying pickup line I've ever heard.
      DK: "If I was the ringmaster of YOUR Family Circus, I'd kill acrobats 1,2, and 6, and chain the rest to your bed."
      DK: As she gave him a look of stupefied, bewildered horror, I awoke, confused
      AgentTon: I THINK THAT DREAM MEANS HE'S DICK GRAYSON
      Haruhi2: this is how DK usually greets women
      DK: I mean I don't even know. Like I find the pun on the name of the store to be misguided because he's threatening to murder several of her siblings and turn the rest into sex slaves/voyeurs as he rails her.
      DK: I mean maybe there's an alternate interpretation but I'm not seeing it
      DK: also why acrobats 1,2, and 6
      DK: What have they DONE?
      DK: Are 3,4, and 5 so exceptional?
      AgentTon: Maybe they're the hot ones.
      AgentTon: Maybe 3, 4, and 5 are underaged.
      DK: What a skeevy fellow!
      AgentTon: Well it certainly sounded like it from your description!
      AgentTon: Now I'm just imagining the famous Family Circus dotted line trails
      AgentTon: Leading through some convoluted path down into a basement, coming back out with bloody footprints
      AgentTon: All the way up to the second story and the BDSM sex den.
      ReverendRagu: Oh god
      ReverendRagu: Why are you making me imagine Dolly in dominatrix gear ;____;
      ReverendRagu: And Billy in a gimp mask and a leather thong
      AgentTon: I was more imagining Grandma, with the kids tied down and terrified
      DK: lmaoh oh god
      DK: Grandpa peering down from heaven and weeping
      AgentTon: Dad's dressed up like a clown. He's never been so hard.
      DK: Mom's beating him with a baseball bat
      DK: "More like BIL KEEN! KEEEEN FOR MEEEE!"
      AgentTon: jgjjkh

    • Season 9 Screening

      6 years ago

      Myshu chupariffic

      Mission accomplished! Once again drove to Austin and back without committing vehicular manslaughter. I'm on a hot streak. Really am starting to believe my "Born to Take it Easy" shirt is lucky.

      The show was great, of course, and it was fun hanging out with some of the guys there, particularly SynOfGrave (whom you might know for creating Gus's Emergency Earthquake Kit, and madmanmoe (whom you might know for being generally awesome.) I totally owe you both drawings or somesuch.

      In typical RT style, the Q&A after the show had some hilarity going on (I was the chick who asked about Doc.) I wonder if anybody caught it on camera--you know there's always that *one person* in a crowd who's recording.

    • 6 years ago

      Myshu chupariffic
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