You'd think it'd be a crushing loneliness or soul eating sense of failure, but I think in the months prior to the actual breakup I sensed it coming and was able to mourn it and process it then, so when it happened, it was just over.
The weird thing is how very quiet my life feels now. We didn't talk on Skype nearly as much as I would have liked, but we texted every day almost the whole day right until those last couple of months.
When the first text of the day would come in with that specific ring tone or vibration, my whole heart lifted, the day brightened and I was excited to see whatever the message might be. It was probably a simple "Good morning", but it was enough to let me know that I was thought of and cared for, and every other little beep later garnered a similar response.
Communicating was important to me because it was the only way we had to connect being so far apart. Couldn't connect with a quick coffee or lunch date, give hugs to chase bad days away or to show affection, or spend that bonding time cuddled on a couch.. so there was text. But now there is not and I am surprised by how empty that makes the day feel.
Everything else is going as well as can be expected. I am walking more during the day on my breaks at work and even more at night with Jasper while we play Pokemon Go. I play ESO more on the PC in the evening and weekends and am trying to get to know more of the people in my guild better and run trials and dungeons with them. Little efforts to get better, be better and continue to move on. Where I am going, or what I will move on to, I am not sure - but the plan is to improve and to finish a chapter, accomplish more goals, be a better person.
We'll see how things go..