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Masterweaver's RWBY Comedy Sketches!

Posts (11)

  • Masterweaver

    Masterweaver

    #33439400 - 6 months ago

    In which I most definitely DO NOT sell shoes.


    Because really how would I sell shoes on an online forum it's possible yeah but not really feasible.


    But on the subject of shoes, let's get on to our first lil' scene, shall we?






    "Hey Weiss?" Ruby approached her partner cautiously. "I've been meaning to ask you something."


    "Oh?" Weiss crossed her arms. "What is it?"


    "I... I was kind of wondering..." After a moment, Ruby pointed at her feet. "You're wearing heels! How do you fight in heels?!"


    "They're spring-loaded."


    Ruby blinked. "...what?"


    "Spring-loaded." Weiss rocked up and down in demonstration.


    Ruby stared at her for a moment or two.


    "...That... that just raises further questions!"

  • Masterweaver

    Masterweaver

    #33522162 - 4 months ago

     nora

    "Greetings, all my wonderful fans! It is I, NORA VALKYRIE! And I am here to address an issue I am sure that all of you have had on your mind. As we are all well aware, the second season of RWBY Chibi is set to launch in May. MAY! That's only a few months away! And as we are also aware, nothing bad ever happened in that series. Eeeeeeeeeever. However, a number of our cast now sport cool-looking body parts with tragic backstories! How will the producers reconcile this obvious contradiction? Below, I postulate a possible solution!"


    ----


    Ruby was happily skipping along, humming a tune to herself, when she noticed somebody off to the side. "Oh! Hello Yang!"


    "Hey there sis!" Yang waved her hand. "What's up?"


    "OH MY GOSH! YOUR ARM! WHAT HAPPENED?!"


    "Huh? Oh, no, this is just a glove." Yang took off the glove. "See? Totally normal hand underneath."


    "Oh. Huh." Ruby nodded. "Gotta say, that's a very detailed-looking glove."


    "I know, right? Anyway, I gotta go meet Blake. Laters!"


    Ruby shrugged, skipping further along the path, and eventually ran into someone else. "Oh, hey Mercury!"


    "Hey there, Ruby. Have you seen a kitten anywhere?" Mercury lifted his foot. "Not sure whether I got the little guy or not--"


    "OH MY GOSH! YOUR LEGS! WHAT HAPPENED?!"


    "What? Oh." Mercury chuckled, reaching down. "These are just my kitten-stomping boots! See?"


    "Oh. Wow." Ruby looked at the boot in his hand. "You know, ominous name aside, I'm kind of surprised. It really looked like you had holes in your legs."


    "I've got thin ankles." Mercury looked behind her. "Oh, there's the kitty! COME ON!"


    Ruby watched him charge off. "Uh, that's actually Blake and--" At Yang's loud battlecry, she winced and began backing away. "Okay, yeah, not going to get involved in that--Ooof!" The girl turned around quickly. "I'm so sorry--General Ironwood!"


    "Miss Rose. Have you seen my shirt?" The general glanced around. "I seem to have misplaced it--"


    "OH MY GOSH! YOUR... UH... ENTIRE RIGHT SIDE! WHAT HAPPENED?!"


    "Hmm? Ah." Ironwood brushed his shoulder off. "Don't worry, miss Rose, it's just a tattoo."


    Ruby stared, nonplussed, as the general continued looking for his shirt.


    After a moment she sighed. "I wish I was legal."

  • ImmaThinkin

    ImmaThinkin

    #33522212 - 4 months ago

    In reply to Masterweaver

    OMFG WEISS WEARS MOON BOOTS!  laughing

  • SirSailorStar

    SirSailorStar

    #33533274 - 4 months ago

    Ah ha hah! Poor Ruby. Everyone is messing with her! This is awesome.

  • Masterweaver

    Masterweaver

    #33534561 - 4 months ago

    "Hey, Yang?"


    "Yeah Weiss?"


    "...where'd you get that jacket? It looks a little small for you."


    "Oh, it was a hand-me-up."


    Weiss frowned. "Don't you mean hand-me-down?"


    "Nope!" Yang grinned. "See, Ruby had just turned thirteen--"


    "YANG DON'T YOU DARE!" Ruby shrieked.


    "--and she decided that as she had just become a teenager, she should reinvent her image--"


    Ruby lunged off her bed, trying to pull her sister to the ground. "STOPIT STOPIT STOPIT!" she cried with a furious blush.


    Yang casually held her off with one arm. "--so she splurged on a whole new set of outfits, which got dad really mad for wasting money--"


    "WOMAN I SWEAR I WILL RIP YOUR EARS OFF WITH MY TEETH!"


    "--but she said it was okay because she planned to sell all her old clothes anyway."


    Weiss quirked an eyebrow. "Okay... and what new image did she pick exactly?"


    "YANG IF YOU SAY ONE WORD--"


    Yang grinned broadly. "She renamed herself Bloodrose, Darkest Soul Of Patch!"


    Weiss gasped. "No."


    "Yes. Our dear sweet Ruby--"


    "SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT--"


    "--was once an EMO GOTH!"


    Ruby fell to the ground. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Why did you have to tell her that?! Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?!?!?"


    Weiss looked her over. "Well... I guess it would explain her outfit."


    "Oh it used to be worse. She had makeup."


    "Really."


    "I have ~piiiiictuuuuuures!~"


    "ALRIGHT YANG THAT DOES IT I AM HIDING YOUR SHAMPOO!"

  • ImmaThinkin

    ImmaThinkin

    #33534563 - 4 months ago

    In reply to Masterweaver

    To which Yang replies "... [Nuclear EXPLOSION!]"

  • SirSailorStar

    SirSailorStar

    #33534583 - 4 months ago

    In reply to Masterweaver

    Emo Ruby. Yes!

  • Masterweaver

    Masterweaver

    #33535740 - 4 months ago

    "What. The. Heck."


    "Oh hey Blake! Look, have you seen--"


    "Yang, this isn't funny. Not in the slightest."


    "Wha--oh. No, it's not--"


    "I may be a cat faunus, but I have not NOR WILL I EVER have any reaction to catnip. This is beyond stereotyping, this is--this is a failure of basic biology! I mean--"


    "It's not for you!"


    "...come again?"


    "The catnip isn't for you. I got it for Zwei."


    "...Zwei?"


    "Yeah, it relaxes him. Taste of home, as they say."


    "...Zwei is a dog."


    "Eh, yeah, but he was raised by cats."


    "What--how would--that doesn't--"


    "Yeah, there was a litter of kittens and one tiny puppy, and momma cat just went with it, you know? Kind of think that's why he likes you. She had black ears too."


    "I... what."


    "Yeah, so have you seen him around?"

  • SirSailorStar

    SirSailorStar

    #33535855 - 4 months ago

    In reply to Masterweaver

    Zwei got cuter!

  • MisCon

    MisCon

    #33536467 - 4 months ago

    -followed :)

  • Masterweaver

    Masterweaver

    #33537536 - 4 months ago

    Taiyang gave a long, dreamy sigh. "Doesn't Raven have such fabulous legs...?"


    Summer looked at him for a moment. "Tai, Raven has a brutal sense of strength making right, no tolerance for weakness, and considers sweets to be an addictive waste of cooking materials!"


    "Yeah... but she's got fabulous legs, right?"


    "Yes. Yes she does. So does Qrow--"


    "I'm going to ask her to the dance." Taiyang got up, walking over to the dark-haired girl currently going to town on a wooden Grimm.


    Summer sighed. "Why are the cute ones always dumb?"


    "We all start out cute. Then we get hurt and learn the world sucks, stop worrying about being cute for a while, and once we start again we're too far gone to be cute." Qrow gulped back a drink. "Only grim and handsome."


    Summer looked at him. "That's a cynical view."


    "Raven's my twin."


    Summer turned to where Raven was staring flatly at Taiyang. "...Point." Summer shrugged. "Well, I intend to be cute and smart."


    Qrow quirked an eyebrow, watching as his sister shrugged and snogged the other guy. "Good luck, kid, you're going to need it."