R@ndom-ness
I'M NOT DEAD! Man it's been ages since i've done one of these hasn't it. "Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the the universe." "If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button." A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. (not a clue!) A good sermon should be like a woman's skirt: short enough to rouse the interest, but long enough to cover the essentials. A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he's finished There are no stupid questions, just stupid people. I have met a lot of hardboiled eggs in my time, but you're twenty minutes. A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it is written on. A man's only as old as the woman he feels. Love is like a booger. You keep picking at it until you get it, then wonder what to do with it. I'm very pleased to be here. Let's face it, at my age I'm very pleased to be anywhere. I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying. Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the world together. The large print giveth, but the small print taketh away. Income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf. Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected! Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die. Ask me no questions, and I'll tell you no lies. If your boss is getting you down, look at him through the prongs of a fork and imagine him in jail. Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me? The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory. It's not true I had nothing on. I had the radio on. A man in the house is worth two in the street. |
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