Chuck Norris facts
Chuck Norris and Mr. T once encountered each other on a lonesome British path. Before the inevitable battle could begin, the earth shit itself and created Scotland. There are only 4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse. Chuck Norris is going to walk. Vin Diesel and Mr. T once had an arm wrestling contest. Chuck Norris won. Chuck Norris won the Olympics. All of them. Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean. Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of "beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths. Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him. The Mayans predicted this to happen on December 21st 2012. One time in an airport a guy accidentally called Chuck Norris "Chick Norris". He explained it was an honest mistake and apologized profusely. Chuck accepted his apology and politely signed an autograph. Nine months later, the guy's wife gave birth to a bearded baby. The guy knew exactly what had happened, and blames nobody but himself. At the beach, many children try to dig a hole to China. When Chuck Norris goes to the beach, he digs a hole to the sun. |
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