Why They're Here

Captain Flowers finds the last piece to his little operation and moves it to a a quiet little box canyon in the middle of nowhere. I think everything is going to work out just fine.

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  • Becca Seester

    New Pokemon Evolutions Unveiled

    4 days ago

    By @charlesaustin


    Pokemon trainers have a moral obligation to Catch ‘Em All, which was a reasonable expectation back when there were only 151 of ‘Em. But now there are more than 700 of ‘Em. And guess what? Nintendo recently revealed even more monsters that you absolutely must catch.


    Who are these uncanny creatures that you encounter in the new games? Nintendo has only revealed the first stage for each of the three starting monsters in Pokemon Sun and Moon, but we have some educated guesses about their evolutions that will almost certainly turn out to be correct.


    Litten

    v9dETZe.jpg


    Cats hate water even though they have to drink it to live. 99% of cats should never be forgiven for this disgraceful personality defect, but Litten is excused since it’s a Fire type.


    The only way to evolve this Pokemon is to have it swallow an entire ball of yarn and then take it to the vet at a really inconvenient time for you. There, it will evolve into a slightly more selfish and demanding firecat, which leaves hot white ashes all over your black pants and vomits molten hairballs on your bedspread.


    At level 36 – which is actually level 161 in cat levels – this Fire-type feline reaches its final stage: an 800-pound tiger engulfed in flames that incinerates everything in your apartment except for the bathtub, which it is still very much afraid of.


    Rowlet

    XME72yr.jpg


    This chipper owl is notable for its bowtie made of leaves, which is really cute in an elementary-school yearbook photo kind of way, but super lame by the time it reaches high school.


    In college, this Pokemon evolves into a party owl with its frat’s Greek letters tattooed on its wing. This owl gets so high all the time that nobody needs reminding that it is a Grass/Flying type. Fortunately, ripping gravity bongs and shotgunning Natty Ice is just a phase. Owls are known for their sagacity, and this wise bird hits the books and eventually graduates with honors.


    In its final stage, Rowlet becomes Rowlitigator – the lawyer Pokemon. This Pokemon suppresses all memories of its adolescence and hardly ever finds time to gain experience points anymore because it is so caught up making money. In fact, the only hint that this Pokemon’s life ever revolved around something other than intellectual-property law is its leafy tie, a nod to the bowtie it once loved so much, back in those distant days before the shackles of corporate orthodoxy smothered its soul.


    Popplio

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    This baby seal has an adorable pink nose and a little blue thing around its neck. Otherwise it looks pretty damn stupid, let’s be honest.


    When this Pokemon evolves, the little blue thing around its neck gets bigger. Real exciting, right? Its round little nose makes you think of a Pokeball, which is very cute if you ignore the fact that Pokeballs are almost definitely manufactured in some distant country by children toiling for slave wages.


    In its final stage, it turns out this Pokemon was just an umbrella all along. This one is very useful when it is raining. If you don’t want to raise Popplio all the way to level 34 by yourself, you can find a bin full of this Pokemon at Walgreens for $8.99 each.

  • RT Life

    Officer Gibson

    4 days ago

    Officer Gibson is back! And he's badder than ever! Everyone and no one is safe!

    What's Day 5?

  • Becca Seester

    Rooster Teeth vs. Angry Birds

    5 days ago

    As you know, The Angry Birds Movie premiered this week. Long-time Rooster Teeth community member Dominic (@Count3D) was lucky enough to attend a preview screening earlier this month, and naturally he wore a Rooster Teeth shirt.


    Dom met the directors Clay Kaytis and Fergal Reilly afterward, and discovered that they were fans of the "Fight or Flight" Angry Birds trailer we made in 2011. One of them took one look at the shirt and said, "Rooster Teeth! You're our rivals!"


    mhUzbAu.jpg


    So awesome.

  • Jon The Risemonger

    ON THE SPOT IS BACK TOMORROW...HELP!

    5 days ago

    Good News Everyone! On The Spot is back for a brand new season tomorrow, LIVE for Sponsors at 5PM CT.The extra long break this time had my hopes up that it got cancelled but Burnie said I had to do another season to pay for breaking his plant when I was housesitting for him. This season we're gonna have new games, new redemption challenges, new guests and, thanks to the fantastic health care coverage Rooster Teeth offers to employees, new blood pressure medication for myself.

    So...you wanna help with some games? Get your submissions in as soon as possible and we might use them and even give you credit for them on the show! What are we playing tomorrow? Glad you asked:

    SYNC ABOUT IT

    • Finish the sentence: How to...?
    • Feel free to submit more than one idea

    ABCs OF STORYTELLING

    • Come up with a 2 person scenario where the characters interact with each other a lot.
    • Be as descriptive as you want, this is a scene the guests have to play out.
    • Scenes that work best for this game have a high potential for rapid dialogue and confrontation.

    ASS SWIPE <---NEW GAME!!

    • Ever had trouble coming up with a profile description? You're in luck then! All we need is your profile picture and name and our trained On The Spot guests will do it for you. And don't worry about giving us any information or details about yourself, we'll figure that all out for you.

    Looking forward to seeing what you guys come up with. I couldn't do this without you. Well, I probably could but when you do it for me that just frees up more time for me to play Overwatch. I'm getting to be a decent Winston lately.

  • Rooster Teeth Podcast

    The Chewbacca Conversation – #377

    6 days ago

    Join Gus Sorola, Gavin Free, Barbara Dunkelman, and Burnie Burns as they discuss viral videos, India, and more on this week's RT Podcast! Also, be sure to stick around for a special post-show interview with The Lonely Island discussing their new movie POPSTAR: Never Stop Never Stopping, in theaters June 3rd. This episode originally aired on May 23, 2016.

  • matt

    Global Login Fix and Schedule Update

    6 days ago

    Hey yo -

    Yesterday we rolled out an update that addresses one of our community’s biggest pain points: global login. With this fix, it’s now easier to watch Sponsor content on all our sites – including Rooster Teeth, Achievement Hunter, Funhaus, ScrewAttack, and The Know – without having to log in on every single site. Facebook logins actually work now, too. It's Zuckerbergarific.


    This update also fixes a previous video queuing issue, which means you can now add videos from all of our sites to a single queue. Huzzah!


    This is one of many steps we’re taking to improve your experience on all of the Rooster Teeth sites. Even the ones with Gus. This is a huge priority throughout the rest of the year. As always, we appreciate your feedback. Your input is what enables us to design the sites you want.


    Speaking of improvements...


    Thursdays Are Getting Awesomer

    As we grow and continue adding new shows to our roster, we have to occasionally take a step back and make sure our schedule is functioning like a well-oiled machine, or at least as well as a Spanish-speaking robot with well-lubed nuts. With the Day 5 premiere coming up on Sunday, June 19 (hell yeah!), now seems like the perfect time to move some of our usual Sunday content to a new day.


    Starting this week, you’ll notice some new activity at 11:00 a.m. CT on Thursdays. That spot will now be home to RT Life and the Sponsor Vlog. Episodes for each show will be posted every other week; there will be a new RT Life this Thursday, May 26 (Fridays for the public), and the next Sponsor Vlog will go up on Thursday, June 2. The schedule for those shows will repeat in that pattern from here on out.


    Thanks, and as always please leave us any and all feedback. Unless you are Gus.

  • Becca Seester

    Did I Just Find Aaron and Blaine's Secret Lovechild?

    1 week ago

    By @Becca


    I spend a lot of time on stock photo sites. When I'm on the prowl for the perfect photo, I will scroll through hundreds of pages of different-but-the-same images, scrutinizing every detail.


    Today, I found an image that made me stop in my tracks. And not in a good way.


    Thanks to this image, I am now 100% convinced that Blaine Gibson (@bgibbles) and Aaron Marquis (@RevDrMarquis) somehow traveled back in time and conceived a son – together. Yes, not only did they crack the mystery of time travel, but they also figured out how to alter their chromosomal composition to enable male-on-male reproduction.


    Nothing will ever be the same.


    Without further ado, here's Blaaron.


    CnhAQFD.jpg

  • RT Animated Adventures

    Geoff Gets a Dildo in His Butt

    1 week ago

    This is the story all about how Geoff's life got flipped turned upside down. So I'd like to take a minute, lemme tell you what, this is exactly how Geoff got a dildo up his butt.

    Audio from Sunday Driving in GTA V – The Married Life.

  • Red vs. Blue

    Fifty Shades of Red

    1 week ago

    There can only be one Sarge, but many can apply for the job opening.

  • Red vs. Blue

    Coming up next on Red vs Blue Season 14 – The Prequels Episode 2

    1 week ago

    Codeword: Dirtbag! Discover the rigorous competition Sarge endured to earn his high rank. ‪#‎RvB14‬